Best jokes No 1

• Sardar Ne Jalte Hue Makan Se 6 Logo Ko
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• Apni Jaan Pe Khelkar Bahar Nikala
• Fir Bhi Usko Jail Ho Gayi
• Kyun…
• Kyun..Ki Vo Sab Firebrigade Wale The.
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• Aur Bhi Hai..
• Sardar :- Yar iska matlab kya hota hai, “I
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• AM GOING”?
• Friend :- Main jaa raha hun.
• Sardar :- Saaley, aise kaise jayega, 20 aur
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• bhi aise ja chuke hain….answer bata ke
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• jaa..
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• ============================
• Kya hai?
• ek bar American, Pakistani,
• Or Chinese Chand Per Gaye.
• tino ne Neche Dekha To Zameen Per ek
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• Lambi Line Nazar aee.
• American : Ye NASA Ki Building Hai.
• Chinese: Nhi Ye Cheen Ki Deewar Hai.
• Pakistani: Na, Na, Na, Yeh To Na Building
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• Hai Or Na Deewar, YeTo Utility Store K
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• Bahr cheni leny Walon Ki Line Hai..!
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• Batao na.!!
• Wife: Ji apko mujhme kya acha lagta hai
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• meri samajhdari ya meri beauty..
• Husband: Mujhe to ye tumhari Majak karne
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• ki aadat bahut achi lagti hai..
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• Doctor Ki Likhai
• Doctor Parche pe aisa kya likhta hai jo
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• kewal Medical Store waale hi samajh paate
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• hai..
• Wo likhte hai:—
• “Maine to Loot Liya tu bhi Loot le…!”
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• Sher Ka Puttar
• Ek Sardar apne Bete se bola oye ghabra
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• mat Tu sher ka puttar hai.
• Beta: oye papaji, acha hua bata diya
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• techer bhi ye hi puchti he ki Tu kis janwar
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• ki aulad hai.?
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• ishu dairy likh raha tha
• “aaj meri behan ko baccha hone wala hai pata nahi ladka hoga ya ladki,
• isliye mujhe ye bhi pata nahi ki me mama banunga ya mami”.
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• Ishu : matlbi dost se bach kar raho.
• Aman : magar matlbe dost ka pta kaise chalega. Ishu=simple,sare dosto ko msg karojo reply na de samjah lo wo hi matlbi hai.
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• Waiter-Apne samose aur pakodon ko andar se kha liya, lekin bahar ka saara chhod diya! Aisa kyon?Customer-Kyonki doctor ne kaha hai, bahar ka khaana mat khao..
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• Girlfriend (boyfriend se): Ab hame shaadi kar leni chahiye.
• Boyfriend: Voh to theek hai… par hum se shaadi karega koun?
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• husband-talak lena hai,
• advocate-talak lene ke liye 5000rp lagenge,
• husband-pagal ho kya?pandit ne 51rp me shadi kari thi.
• advocate-dekh liye na saste ka Natija!!
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• Ek operation ke baad patient bola:
• ‘doctor sahab Kya ab main aap logo se mukt hu?’
• Beta doctor to neeche reh gye, main to Yamraj hun!!!!
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• Dad:result ka kya hua
• Son: Dad, ek good news hai aur aik bad news
Dad:good news bata.
• Son : mai pass ho gya.
• Dad : great, aur bad news.
• Son:good news galat hai.
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• Boy: Tu Dharti Pe Chahe Jahan Bhi Rahe Gi,
• Tujhe Teri Khushbu Se Pehchan Loonga…
• Girl: Mujhe Pehle Se Pata Tha, Tum Kuttay Ho…
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• Lalu ji ek mahina obama ke pas se engish ki training lekar vaps aaye
• ek din unhe ek call aaya. lalu ji bole “Who is speaking?”. jawab aaya “Hum Sasura Obama bol raha hun”.
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• Desi Maalik Makaan: OK, mein tumko kiraya dene ke liye aur 3 din ki mohlat deta hun.
• Kirayedar: Theek hai ji, mein Diwali, Holi aur Chrismas ke 3 din select karta hoon.
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• Raja Pervaiz Ashraf: Yaar mujhey Mother’s Day pe koi Message nhi aaya?
• Secretary: Sir, Pakistan me jub Light jati hai,
• Log aap ki Maa ko hi yaad kertey hain!!!
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• Saas (bahu se): Bhagwan ne tumhe 2-2 aankhe di. Chawal me se 2-4 pathhar nahi nikal sakti kya.
• Bahu: Very funny! Bhagwan ne tumhe 32 daant diye 2-4 pathhar bhi nahi chaba sakti ?
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• Bhongasing ek ped per chadh Gaye.
• Upar baithey Monkey ne poocha: Upar kyon aaye?
• Bhongasing: Apple khane.
• Monkey: Yeh to aam ka ped hai.
• Bhongasing: Pata hai, Apple saath laya hun.
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• Sardar Ji: Hamne Mobile Marriage Bureau shuru kiya hai: “Rishtey k liye 1 dabaye, Mangni k liye 2 dabye, Shadi k liye 3 dabye.”
• Man: Hum Dusri Shadi k liye kya dabaun?
• Sardar Ji: Dusri shadi k liye pehle wali ka gala dabye
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• Girl: Bas Kro, Kisine Dekh Liya To,
• Boy: Kuch Nahi Hoga Tum Bas
• Sidhi Raho, Aur Pura Dikhao,
• Thoda Aur Karne Do,
• Agar Nahi Dikhaya to Mein,
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• Fail Ho Jauga..
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• Ek Baar Ek Ladki Ek Ladke ko shaadi ke liye dekhne Gyi…
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• Ladki ka naam tha rampyari aur ladke ka naam that digamber jise pyar se digu khete the..
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• Ladke walo ne ladki se uska naam pucha to ladki ne style main kaha
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• iski pyari..uski pyari sbki pyari.. Rampyari
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• To ladke se jab uska naam pucha gya to usne socha main bhi apna naam style main khunga aur kaha…
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• Iska GU..Uska GU….Sabka GU .. Digu :p :)
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• Submitted by Divyanshu vashisth.
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• Ek kadvaa sach :-)
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• Behan ki friend behan ho sakti hai,
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• Bhai ka friend Bhai ho sakta hai,
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• lekin wife ki friend wife nahi ban sakti….
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• Autowaala: sorry sir, meter daalna bhool gaya.
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• Hari : problem nahi hai. main bhi apna purse bhool aaya. chodo
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• Ramu: Sir, mere ghar mein TV chodke baaki sabki chori hogayi hai?
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• Police: chor ne sirf TV kisliye chodaa hoga?
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• Ramu: mujhe kya pataa sir? main us samay TV mein serial dekh rahaa thaa
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• Beggar: 10 rupaiya dedo saab. girlfriend ko phone karna hai.
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• Saab ki girlfriend: dekho, bhikaari bhi apni girlfriend ko kitna pyar karta hai.
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• Beggar: nahi memsaab, use pyar karne ke baad hee main bhikaari ban gayaa
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• Doctor: is dawaa ko ek hafte main poora karo aur baad main aake milo.
• Patient: teek hai doctor
• (ek hafte ke baad)
• Doctor: dawaa khatam huaa kya?
• Patient: nahi doctor.
• Doctor: kyu nahi?
• Patient: usme likhaa thaa ke, bottle ko hamesha bandh rakhe
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• Teacher: OXFORD matlab kya hai?
• Student: OX matlab bail, FORD matlab Gaadi. to OXFORD matlab bail gaadi
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• Boyfriend: I need to tell you a secret that I haven’t told you so far: I a seeing a psychiatrist.
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• Girlfriend: Oh! I need to tell you a truth too. I am seeing a psychiatrist, plumber and a mechanic.
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• A gift for girlfriend
• Man 1: I want to buy a gift for my girlfriend for her birthday but I don’t know what she would like. Give me a suggestion.
• Man 2: Does she like you?
• Man 1: Yes
• Man 2: Then she would like anything.
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• Boyfriend: Can we have a battle of intelligence between us?
• Girlfriend: No thanks, I don’t fight an unarmed person.
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• Boyfriend: How do I play the guitar?
• Girlfriend: You should be on TV for your talent.
• Boyfriend: Am I so good?
• Boyfriend: If you were on TV, I can atleast switch it off.
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• Boyfriend: For the last time I am telling you that I didn’t come here to get insulted.
• Girlfriend: Then where else do you usually go?
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• Beauty Tip:
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• If U Want 2 protect Ur Face From Dust,Mud,sun light & Such..frown emoticon
• Then apply
• :
• :
• :
• “ASIAN PAINTS” Exterior Emulsion
• 7yrs guarantee
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• Ek Bachha Road Pe Kutte Ko Le
• Jaa Raha Tha.
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• Ek Police Waala Hasste Hue:
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• Beta, Apne Bhaai Ko Kahaan Le
• Ja Rahe Ho?
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• Bachha: Police Mai Bharti
• Karwaane….
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• Father: Lagta hai chhat tapak rahi hai.
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• Son: chhat nahi, chhat se paani tapak raha hai. Chhat tapaki hoti to hum sab tapak gye hote…. :p 😀
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• Tujse naraz nahi Zindgi hairan hu
• me, . . . . .
• WAH WAH.
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• .Tujse naraz nahi Zindgi hairan hu
• me
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• Koi naya Status nahi mil raha
• bahut pareshan hu ma
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• Leave a comment
• Boyfriend Ek Aisi Cheez Hai
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• E-Mail This
• Boyfriend ek aisi cheez hai
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• Jis ke samne chipkali, cockroach se
• darne wali ladki bhi sherni ban k ghumti hai…
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• Girl:- main kisi aur se shadi kar rahi hun, mujhe bhul jao. . !
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• Boy:-
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• Na tere aane ki khushi, na tere jaane ka gham, dusri patayenge tu jaa behen aaj se tera qissa khatam..
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• She : whats ur name?
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• He : Kapil Phadke. & urs?
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• She : pehle Neha tha but ab Lovely
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• He : ab Lovely kyo?
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• She : kyuki,me Lovely ho gyi yar naam tera Phadke!!
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• *this time the girl gets blocked*
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• Extremely Funny :
• A Little boy was doing his maths homework & saying: 2+5, the son of a bitch is 7. 3+6, the son of a bitch is 9
• His Mom: What are you doing?
• …
• Boy: I’m doing maths homework
• Mom: this is how your teacher taught you?
• Boy: Yes
• Infuriated, Mom asked the teacher the next day- ‘What are you teaching my son in maths?’
• Teacher: Right now, we are learning addition.
• Mom: you teaching them to say 2+ 2, the Son of a bitch is 4?
• Teacher after laughing: What I taught them was, 2+2, the sum of which is 4
• 😛 😛
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• Purani soch:-Karo ya Maro.
• Nayi soch:-Marne se Phle kuch karo!
• Ekdam Nai soch:- Jab tak kuch kar
• nahi lete maro mat!
• Hamari Soch:-Koi Bataega Sala
• karna kya hai?
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• Teacher: Which is the closest planet to the sun??
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• Student: Wait.
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• Teacher: What wait, tell me now.
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• Student: Bata raha hu na. मर क्यू रही hai?
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• Teacher: Correct.
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• Market Me Nai Bimari Aayi Hai……
• Doctor-how are you feeling?
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• Me- I am feeling lonely with angel neha and 72 others….
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• This Is For My Ex. . .
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• Tuje Kya Laga,Tu Muje Chor Kar Chalejaegi Tho Main Marr Jaunga
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• Ghantaaaa
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• Ladki Hai Tu,
• Oxygen Nahi
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• Me- 3G ki speed nahi aa rahi h..?
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• Call centre- Kaunsa handset use kar
• rahe h?
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• Me- Iphone 5.
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• CallCentr- Apple ka iphone..??
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• Me- Nhi, Amrood ka. :p 😀
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• Leave a comment
• *After Exam*
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• E-Mail This
• *After exam*
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• Mom: Paper kaisa tha?
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• Me: Patlaa tha, white colour ka!
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• *tight slap on face* :p 😀
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• Aaj mein 2 kasam khata hu
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• 1. Kisi parayi ladki ko gandi nazro se nahi dekhunga.
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• 2. Mein kisi bi ladki ko parayi ni samjhunga.
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• Girl : doctor sahab mai bhut gori hu sundar hu aur meri skin b kafi sensitive hai ..
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• mai kya lagakr soya kru
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• Doctor: darvaje me KUNDI……
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• 1 din ‘sunny leon’ maar gayi
• uski kabr par ‘IMRAAN HASMIi’ aaya aur
• jor-2 se hasne lga
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• logo ne puchha aap haas kyu rahe ho.
• To usne kaha
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• kameeni phli bar akeli soyii hai.
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• Leave a comment
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• Accountancy fact:
• What is the difference between Liability & Asset?
• A drunk friend is liability
• But
• A drunk Girlfriend is an Asset…. :p 😀
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• Economics is not that difficult if we have the right examples.
• Interviewer: What is Recession?
• Candidate: When “Wine & Women” get replaced by “Water & Wife”,
• that critical phase of life is called Recession!! :p 😀
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• CA ki wife:
• Suniye ji, Yeh Inflation kya hai?
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• CA:
• Pehle tu 36-24-36 thi
• Ab tu 48-40-48 hai !
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• Ab tere pass sab kuch pehle se jyada hai, phir bhi Teri value pahle se kam hai.
• YAHI INFLATION HAI. :p
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• Me washing my car
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• Aunty: Kyu beta kya kr rahe ho gaadi dho rahe ho.
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• ME: Nahi aunty paani de raha hu kya pata kl subah tak bus ban jaaye.
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• Leave a comment
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• *Killing English*
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• Pappu:- “Hey, Fruit walay Baba, give me some Potatoes fever. . .
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• Fruit wala: Oo mere bhai ye ‘Potatoes Fever’ kya hota hai? . .
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• Pappu:- Oo Maye Gaad, You Literacy People, Potatoes Fever means
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• “Aaloo Bukhara!”
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• Husband – Darling tum bhi gori ho aur mai bhi gora hu to fir hamara bachha kaise kala hua?
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• wife – Oho jaanu tum bhi hot mai bhi hot isiliye hamara baccha jal gaya
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• Submitted by janvi singh rajput.
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• Teacher – Pappu ek story sunao with moral
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• Pappu – Maine usko phone kiya wo so rahi thi.
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• Phir usne mujhe phone kiya main so raha tha
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• Moral- Jaisi karni wsi bharni.
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• TEACHER: – Btao ek doctor or ek engineer me kya difference hai ?
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• STUDENT: – Sir dono main ek difference hai ki doctor ek bar me sirf 1 admi ki jan le sakta hai or engineer ek bar main hajaron admi ki.
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• Teacher asked question 2 student;
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• Formula of water?
• Student replied :- H,I,J,K,L,M,N,O
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• coz previous day teacher told them that formula of water is H2O
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• Teacher socked,student ROCKED
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• E-Mail This
• Teacher Sonu Se – Tumme se itni badbu kyu aa rhi h ..nahakar nhi aate kya
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• Sonu – Kya kru MAM ,pani se ellergy h
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• Teacher – Kesi ellergy
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• Sonu – Shower on krte hi geela ho jata hu
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• To,
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• The janeman
• I LOVE YOU,
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• SUB- application for love.
• Jaan, i beg to say that i am
• student of ur heart.I am lonely. I cant live without u. So kindly grant my love.
• Ur LOVE
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• ============================
• Anushka Sharma- Bohot Machhar kaat rahe hain.
• Virat Kohli- Goodnight ya All Out?
• Anushka Sharma – Goodnight laga do. All out to aap roz hi hote ho.
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• ============================
• Extra Kameena ßacha!
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• Son: Papa apki love marrige hai na?
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• Dad: Haan per tumhen kese pta?
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• Son: Apki shadi or meri date of birth me
• sirf 5 month ka fark hai.
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• ============================
• Tumhari adao pe mai vari vari,
• Wah Wah….
• Tumhari adao pe mai vari vari,
• Wah Wah….
• Dial 139 for railway enquiry…..:)
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• Ek american ne ek indian bache se poocha ..
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• Tum kitney saal ke ho?
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• Bachey ne jawab diya: ghar par 14,
• school me 12, BUS me 10, Train me 7 aur..
• FACEBOOK par 19 year ka hu ji.
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• Wo kehti apne bhaiyyo se,
• Mere aashiq ko yu naa peeto..!!
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• Badaaa jiddi hai ye saala,
• Pehle kutte ki tarah ghaseeto..!!
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• Man in bed with his wife,
• Slides his hand slowly across her shoulders,
• Across her waist,
• Under her neck,
• Under her back,
• & suddenly stops..
• Wife: Why did u stop?
• Man: Remote mil gaya, soja tu!!
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• ============================
• Kaminapan Dosto ka
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• Girlfriend hai.. ??
• Nahin
• Saala Gay
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• Haan hai Girlfriend
• Tharki sala
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• Kal college ayega.. ??
• Haan
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• Padhaku ki aulaad
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• Nahin
• Saale kabhi toh padh liya kar
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• Ice cream khilaega..??
• Ofcourse
• Kyun Bhai, Baap ka paisa hai
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• Nahin
• Bhikhaari saala
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• Dosti nibhaega ??
• Haan
• Senti saale devdas
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• Nahin nibhaunga
• Ye hi umeed thi saale dhoke baaz
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• ============================
• Johny johny..
• Yes papa!
• Private job.
• Yes papa!
• Lot of tension..
• Yes papa!
• Too much work..
• Yes papa!
• Family life..
• No papa!
• Bp-sugar..
• High papa!
• Yearly bonus..
• Joke papa!
• Monthly pay..
• Low papa!
• Personal life..
• Lost papa!
• Weekly off!
• ha! ha! ha!
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• ============================
• Girl ATM pe Pappu se Boli..
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• Girl : bhaiya mujhe apna balance check karna hai.. Aap meri help kar do plz..
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• Pappu use ek zor ki laat marta hai aur ladki gir jati hai.
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• Pappu: tera balance to bahot kharab hai!!
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• Ladke ne Ladki ko Aankh maari
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• Ladki: Mai esi wesi ladki nahi hu ..
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• Ladka: Wo to theek hai par check karna hamara Farz banta hai!!
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• ============================
• *Shaadi dot com chats*
• Boy – khana bana leti ho
• Girl – nahi
• Boy – aur kuch bana leti ho?
• Girl – haan selfie lete time mu bana leti hu!!
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• Police: Oye, tune Papita Bechne wali ko kiss kyon kiya??
• Santa: Sir, main bhi kya karta wo itni der se mere ghar ke bahar chilla rahi thi,
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• PAPPI-TE LE LO,
• PAPPI-TE LE LO..!
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• Navjot Singh Siddhu’s Son in School.
• Teacher: What is a Noun?
• Son: Mohtarma.. arjh kiya hai.
• Kutta bhi hota hai apni galli me King.
• Noun is the name of any Person, Place or Thing..!!!!
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• Husband apne ghar ki lights theek kar raha tha..
• Tabhi usne awaz di Pappu ki maa sunti ho…
• Wife: Kya hai ji..
• Husband: Zara idhar toh aao
• Wife: Lo aagyi bolo kya hua?
• Husband: Ye doo taar hai isme se ek pakad..
• Wife: Lo pakad liya.
• Husband: Kuch hua?
• Wife: Nahi toh..
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• Husband: Iska matlab current dusre taar mein hai!!
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• ============================
• Breaking News
• Bhukamp ke baad Bihar govt ne..
• sabi ladkiyon ko lipstick lagana ban kar diya hai.!!
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• Kyunki
• tu lagave lu jab lipistic,
• hile lu sara district..!!
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• ============================
• Zindagi Me Har Chiz badalti hai..!!
• Classroom se Office
• Books se Files
• Jeans se Formal
• Pocket money se Salary
• Girlfriend se Wife Lekin
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• Saale dost kbhi nai badlte
• Kamine k Kamine rehte hai..!!
• Agree??
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• ============================
• Socho agar MASTER Log Film banate to naam kya rakhte-
• -Kabhi chalk kabhi duster
• -Kabhi TET kabhi CTET
• -Kaho na EXAM hai
• -BSA no.1
• -Ham class le chuke sanam
• -Aap mujhe teacher lagne lage
• -Ham aapke school me padhate hain
• -Welcome to school
• -Bhagna Mana Hai (school se)
• -Master Bachche Aur MDM
• -Padhna Hai Tere School Me
• -Ek Master Do Shiksha Mitra
• -Jab-Jab School Khule
• -Rab Ne Bana Diya Master..
• -SOME HORROR MOVIES
• -Tadapta teacher
• -Khooni pradhan
• -Shikari BSA
• -MDM ka lootera
• -Checking ka chakkar
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• Breaking News
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• Madhuri Dixit ke dono SAAJAN Jail mein!!
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• ============================
• Girl: Tum Kya Karte ho?
• Boy: Bahut Bade College Mein Logo Ka Admission Karwata Hun.
• Girl: Kaun Se College?
• Boy: ‘IIN’, Recharge Ki Dukan Hai Apni!
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• Mom : Kya khayega ?
• Me : Aloo hai ?
• Mom : No
• Me : Paneer ?
• Mom : No
• Me : Chicken ?
• Mom : No
• Me : Eggs ?
• Mom : nahi.
• Me : Tala hai ?
• Mom : yes
• Me : Kitchen pe laga do….
• *Slap*
• ============================
• Me: Heard you guys broke up. Where is she now?
• He: She moved on, and became an astronaut…
• Me: ? He: Yes she wanted space. -,-
• ============================
• Dad-Is Baar Pass Ho Ya Fail,
• Bike Zarur Dilaunga.
• .
• Son-Konsi Bike?
• .
• Dad-Pass Hue To ‘Pulsar’ College Jaane Ke Liye.
• &
• Fail Hue To
• .
• .
• . .
• ‘Rajdoot’ Doodh Bechne Ke
• Liye
• 
  
• ============================
• Bhagwan teri umar lambi kare!
• bhagwan tujhe nokri de!
• bhagwan tujhe khush rakhe!
• bhagwan tujhe barkat de!
• yaad ho gaya???? to chal katora utha aur shooru
• ho ja.
• 
  
• ============================
• Baba ji ka mela laga hai
• haridwar mein.
• Prashad mein Recharge Coupon
• diye jayenge.
• Kisi aur ko mat batana.
• Ye SMS sirf chuninda bhikhariyon ko bheje ja raha
• hai
• 
  
• ============================
• 10 doctorz aur 1 engineer
• Helicopter Ki Rassi Se Latke Hue
• The…..
• .
• .
• . .
• .
• .
• .
• .
• Pilot Ne Kaha Load Zyada Hai 1 Aadmi Ko Chorna Hoga….!!….
• .
• .
• .
• .
• . .
• .
• engineer Ne Kaha Apni jaan Ki
• Qurbani Mai
• Deta Hoon……
• . .
• .
• .
• .
• .
• Taaliyan…. .
• .
• .
• .
• .
• . .
• .
• Ye Sun Kar Sab doctorz
• Taaliyan
• BajaneLage,
• Aur sabke sab Neechey Gir Gaye…
• Ustad to akhirr Ustad hota hai
• na….!!
• ============================
• Customer: waiter aisi chai pilao
• jisko pee kar tan man jhum
• uthe aur badan nachne lage.
• Waiter: sir humare yaha bhens
• ka dudh aata hai, NAGIN ka
• nahi…
• 
  
• ============================
• Class Ki Group Photo Dekhte
• Hue Teacher
• Baccho Se Kahne Lagi Ki…….
• .
• . .
• Jab tum Log Bade Hoke ye
• dekoge to Kahoge,,,
• Ye Raju Hai Jo America Chala
• Gya..!
• Ye Chandu Hai Jo London Chala Gya..!
• OR Ye pappu Hai Jo Wahi Ka
• Wahi Reh Gya..!
• pappu ye sunker gusse se Bola:
• or Ye Humari Teachar
• Hai Jinka dehant(death) Ho gya…
• 
  
• ============================
• Mayawati LaLu k Ghar
• elephant ke sath aayi
• LALU-Bhaiswaa ke Sath Aaye
• ho?
• MAYAWATI-Dikhta Nai
• elephantwa Hai. Lalu-Dhatt Pagli,Hm
• elephantwa se puch raha Hu..
• 
  
• ============================
• Main Bevkuf!
• Main Bevkuf!
• Main Bevkuf!
• Main Bevkuf!
• .
• . .
• .
• Aahista Bolo
• Aawaj Yaha Tak Aa Rhi Hai.
• Ab Ho To Ho
• Sbko Btana Jruri Hai Kya.
• 
  
• 
  
• ============================
• 
  
• Sonu- chaddi lelo, chaddi lelo
• Boy- tumhe sharm nhi kya,
• gande
• shabd bol rhe ho, koi dusre
• naam se
• kahte. Sonu – hips k cover lelo
• 
  
• ============================
• Monu: Dettol sabun hai?
• Dukandaar: Hai,
• Monu: Accha wala?
• Dukndar: Ha
• Monu: Acchi quality ka hai na?
• Dukndr: Ha Monu: Hath dhokar 1 Kilo aatta
• dedo.
• 
  
• ============================
• Ek admi khade-khade chaabi se
• apna kaan khujla
• raha tha
• Pappu use gaur se dekhte hue
• bola-
• Bhaisahab, aap start nahi ho rahe to dhakka
• lagau.
• 
  
• ============================
• EK FAMILY SHOLE DEKHKAR
• AAYEE AUR
• PATI-PATNI SE ROMANTAKLI
• BOLA
• “NACH BASANTI NACH”
• BACACHA CHILLAYA “MAMMI IS KUTATE KE
• SAMANE HARGIJ
• MAT NACHNA…..
• 
  
• ============================
• E-Mail This
• Bunty: mere Papako Uski Mot
• Ka Pata 3 Din Pehle Chal Gaya
• Banta: kyo Tere Papa Ne Koi
• Vidhya Jante The
• Bunty: nahi, Mere Papa Ko Jaj
• Ne Fansi Ki Saja Sunai Thi
• 
  
• ============================
• Bapu ek Jyotish k paas Kundli
• dikhane gaya.
• Jyotish: Tera naam Raghubha
• hai?
• bapu: Ji Maharaj.
• Jyotish: Tujhe 2 Ladki & 1 Ladka hai?
• bapu: Ji Maharaj.
• Jyotish: Tune abhi 10 kilo
• chawal kharide hai?
• Bapu: Haa, Oyye.. Tum to
• antaryami ho! Jyotish: Agli baar aana,
• To Kundli lana; Ration Card
• nahi.
• 
  
• ============================
• EXam’s song by Munna bhai:
• 
  
• Chanda Mama so Gaye,
• Student sarey jage.
• Dekho pakdo yaron,
• Ghadi ke kaante bhaage.
• Ek pariksha khatam,
• to duji shuru ho gayi MAAMU.
• 
  
• ============================
• Exams ka saya hai,
• exam ke dino mein sukh kisne paya hai?
• duniya wale kehte hain ache number lo,
• par inhe kaun samjhaye yeh to moh maya hai!!
• 
  
• ============================
• Exams ke 4 din pehle syllabus dekha to yaad aaya,
• Kuch To Hua Hai Kuch Ho Gaya Hai,
• Exams ke din paper dekh kar yaad aaya,
• Sab Kuch Alag Hai Sab Kuch Naya Hai?
• Search Terms for SMS & Shayari:
• 
  
• ============================
• Samandar Bhar Syllabus Hota Hai
• Nadi Bhar Parh Pate Hein
• Balti Barh Yad Rehta Hai
• Chuloo Bhar Number Ate Hein
• Jis Mein Hum Doob Jatey Hain
• 
  
• ============================
• 
  
• 
  
• 
  
• Hum jeete EK bar hai,
• Marte EK bar hai,
• Pyar EK bar hota hai,
• Aur shaadi bhi EK hi bar hoti hai..
• TO ye EXAMS BAR-BAR KYUN ???
• 
  
• ============================
• Yahoooo……
• 
  
• Exams ki sari tayyari ho gayi
• 
  
• (’;’)
• 
  
• Pen
• Pencil
• Scale
• Eraser
• Uniform
• ID Card
• 
  
• Sub tayyar hay,
• 
  
• Ab bus….
• 
  
• Parhna baqi hay :p
• 
  
• ============================
• Human brain is the most
• outstanding object in world.
• It functions 24 hours a day,
• 365 days a year.
• It functions right from the time we are born,
• and stop only when we enter the examination hall.
• 
  
• ============================
• Har sawal say dut ker larna,
• Phainkhnay me kami mat karna,
• Moqa milay to pichay bhi dekhna,
• aur 1 bat yaad rakhna,
• aagay walay ka paper apna samajhna.
• 
  
• ============================
• Bahut dard hota he jab teacher bolta hai ki
• tumhara or tumhare aage wale ka answer 1 hi he
• tab dilse aawaz ati he to sale sawal bhi to 1 hi tha
• 
  
• ============================
• The Funniest Situation in Student Life:
• 
  
• .
• 
  
• .
• 
  
• .
• 
  
• .
• 
  
• .
• When u have No idea what to Write
• in the Paper & the Examiner Comes & Says..
• *Plz Hide ur Answer Sheet*
• 
  
• ============================
• Mat chhino college ke baccho se mobile,
• ye akele rehne se darte hai,
• le lo exam bhi FACEBOOK par..
• kyun ki ye ek hi chiz to hai jo mann lagakar use krte hae.
• 
  
• ============================
• Paper de de ker Dimagh aisa ho gya hai
• 
  
• Mummy Pochtin hai khane mein kua dun?
• To Me Kehta Hun Section-B se kuch bhi de do.
• 
  
• ============================
• Exam + Rowdy Rathore
• .
• .
• .
• Jo main padhta hu wo main likhta hoon..
• .
• .
• aur..
• .
• .
• Jo main nahi padhta wo main definitely likhta hoon..!!
• 
  
• ============================
• Father to Son:
• Beta tum history mein fail kyu huye?
• Son: Papa, Sabhi question us samay ke the
• jab mai paida bhi nahi hua tha!
• 
  
• 
  
• ============================
• 
  
• 
  
• Saccha dost wo hota hai,
• Jo exam mein aap ke paas wali,
• Window ke samne aake bole??
• 
  
• Abey kitna likhega??
• jaldi chal teri wali jaa rahi hai..
• 
  
• ============================
• Waqt bhi sikhata hai,
• aur teacher bhi..
• Par dono mein fark hota hai,
• Teacher sikha kar imtihan leta hai,
• aur
• Waqt imtihan lekar sikhata hai..!!
• 
  
• ============================
• Doctors After Operation and Students After Exam Both tell the Same Answer
• .
• .
• .
• .
• .
• We Tried Our Best
• Can’t Say Anything Right Now!
• 
  
• ============================
• Life of the college student,
• wallet hai paise nahi,
• lecturer hai attendence nahi,
• cell hai balance nahi,
• frnds hai girl friend nahi,
• exam hai tension nahi,
• padhna hai mood nahi.
• 
  
• ============================
• SINGHAM Effect:-
• Dad: Result kya aaya?
• Boy: Aai chhya gaavat, fail ho gaya.
• Dad: Besharam! Nalayak.
• Boy: Kuch bhi karne ka, Mera ego hurt nahi karne ka.
• Dad: Aaj se teri pocket money bandh.
• Boy: Meri jaroorat kam hai, Isi liye meri zameer me dum hai.
• Dad: Get out.
• Boy: Aata maaji satakli re.
• Dad: Mujhe ab papa mat kehna.
• .
• .
• Boy: Ae Gotya.. Gotya.. Gotya 😛 😀
• ============================
• Bhagwan ka diya sab kuch hai…
• Books hai
• Notes hai
• Time hai
• aur dimag to itna hai ke
• jab chahe padh ke TOP kar sakte hai!
• 
  
• Bas 1 hi bat ki kami hai..
• 
  
• ‘Mood’
• Salaa banta hi nahi.
• ============================
• Height of attempting unknown question in an exam..
• 
  
• Question: What is an Array, Explain with example.
• 
  
• Student: ARRAY is the word used to call a friend when he is standing far from you.
• 
  
• For example..
• 
  
• ARRAY o behan k l*de idhar aa.
• 
  
• ============================
• Charo aur padayi ka saya hain,
• Saare paper mein zero aaya hain,
• 
  
• Hum to yuhi chal dete hao bina muh
• dhoye exam dene,
• 
  
• Aur log kehte hain, Sala raat bhar
• padh ke aaya hai.
• 
  
• ============================
• Yeh exam ke rishte bhi ajeeb hote hain,
• Sab apne apne naseeb hote hain,
• Rahte hain jo nigahon se door,
• Saale wahi question compulsary hote hain.
• 
  
• ============================
• Attitude Statement of Student In Exam
• 
  
• I got 150 Questions in exam saying to solve any 100..!!!
• 
  
• I Solved All 150 and wrote – CHECK ANY 100!
• 
  
• 
  
• ============================
• 
  
• 
  
• 
  
• Hum Sirf Ye Soch Kar Apni Answer Sheet
• Khaali Chhod Aate Hain Ke Kahi Teachers Ye Na Kahein,
• .
• .
• .
• .
• .
• .
• .
• .
• .
• .
• ‘Dekho Aaj Ke Bacche Bado Ko Jawaab Dete Hain’
• 
  
• Sanskar You Know..!!
• 
  
• ============================
• *Studying*
• Me: Darr lag raha hai, kuch nahi aa raha
• Friend: Yeh le Mountain Dew pee
• Me *drinks 2 bottles*
• Friend: Ab kuch aaya?
• Me: Haan susu!!
• 
  
• ============================
• Group study is the best way…
• 
  
• .
• 
  
• .
• 
  
• To ensure that none of your friends have studied either.
• 
  
• ============================
• *USA*
• all the best or exam, Jon
• thanks
• 
  
• *India*
• Teeka laga!
• dahi aur cheeni kha!
• Nakal maarro!
• Fail hua toh belt se pitai
• 
  
• Leave a comment
• 
  
• 
  
• A beggar meets another beggar
• 
  
• 
  
• E-Mail This
• A beggar meets another beggar.
• A software engineer meets another software engineer.
• Both of them ask the same question to each other. What is the question ???
• * So, Which Platform are you Working on ???….
• 
  
• ============================
• Interviewer: To bataiye PANI ke bina insan kese marega?
• Kaalu: Sir, PANI Nahi hoga to insaan tairega kaise?
• Tairega nai to doob jayega!! Then he’ll dead…
• ============================
• A Software Engg was smoking
• Girl: Didn’t u see the warning ?
• Smoking is injurious to health.
• Engineer: We bother only about errors & not warnings.
• 
  
• ============================
• English Sir- Pappu you are late..!
• Pappu- Sir meri car…
• Sir- Pappu speak in English,
• .
• .
• .
• .
• .
• .
• .
• .
• .
• Pappu- My car was fussing in the
• kichad,
• No hilling,
• No dolling,
• Only po po karing…
• 
  
• ============================
• Engineer to rikshawala : Are o
• bhai khali
• ho kya??????
• .
• .
• .
• . Rikshawala: Haan bilkul khali
• hoon
• sahab….
• .
• .
• .
• . .
• Engineer : Aao Chalo Phir
• Taash khelte hain…. 😀
• 
  
• Leave a comment
• Ek ladka fail hua to uske papa ne kaha
• 
  
• 
  
• E-Mail This
• Ek ladka fail hua to uske papa ne kaha-
• .
• .
• .
• .
• .
• Dekh – dekh us ladki ko dekh wo
• Tumhare sath padhti hai,
• .
• .
• .
• .
• .
• 1st aayi hai.
• .
• .
• .
• .
• .
• .
• Boy- Dekh – dekh kya dekh??
• .
• .
• Usi ko dekh – dekh ke to fail hua hu..
• 
  
• ============================
• 
  
• 
  
• Engineering Is like a….
• .
• .
• .
• .
• typical Indian public toilet
• .
• .
• People outside r desperate to go in &
• people inside r dying to finish n come out……!!
• 
  
• ============================
• 10 Doctors, 5 Engineers aur 1 Teacher helicopter ki rassi pe latke hue the.
• 
  
• Pilot – Weight zyadaa hai, 1 Aadmi ko rassi choddni padegi!
• 
  
• Teacher – “Ye Qurbani hum denge kyunki hum teacher hain! Bajao taaliyaan!”
• 
  
• Sabhi Doctors aur Engineers taaliyaan bajaane lage!
• 
  
• Weight khud hi kam ho gaya!
• 
  
• MORAL: Doctor, bano ya Engineer, GURU toh aakhir GURU hi hota hai.
• 
  
• ============================
• Bhikhari: Bhagwan k naam pe kuch de de.
• .
• ENGINEER : Ye le meri B.tech ki degree rakh le.
• 
  
• Bikhari: Tujhe chahiye to meri M.tech ki degree rakh le …
• 
  
• ============================
• Ladka: Tum Sabhi boys Ko Bhai Kyu Bolti Ho?
• 
  
• Ladki: Mera Koi Bhai Nahi Hai..
• 
  
• Ladka: Tera Pati Bhi Toh Nahi Hai..
• 
  
• ============================
• Welcome to “sach ka samna”
• Apko jawab sirf yes or No me
• dena hai.
• Aap ka sawal hai,
• “Kya aapne mandir se chappal
• churana chhod diya he??” Himmat hai to jawab do.
• 
  
• ============================
• 1st Pagal
• Mujhe Angelina Jolie ne,
• Shadi k Liye Ha Bol di h.
• 2nd Pagal:
• Dikha di naa Ussne Apni aukat,
• Me Bhi Itni Aasani Se Talaq nahi DUNGA.
• 
  
• ============================
• Wife: Kuchh Saal Pehle
• Mera Figure Pepsi Ki Bottal Ki
• Tarah Tha. Husband Bola: Wo To Ab Bhi
• Hai,
• Bas Pehle Bottle 300ml Ki Thi,
• Ab 2ltr Ki Hai..!
• 
  
• ============================Bhikari Car Me Bethi Madam Se:
• Madam, 10Rs De Do.
• Madam: Ye Lo! Bhikari Jane
• Laga.
• Madam: Arey DUA to Do
• Bhikari: Car Me To Bethi Ho,
• Ab Kya road Pe Bethogi?
• 
  
• ============================
• Pappu Market Mein Jalebi
• Bech Raha Tha:
• ”Aloo Le Lo Aloo”
• .
• .
• . Bunty: Par Tu To Jalebi
• Bech Raha Hai…
• .
• .
• .
• Pappu : Chup Kr Saale Varna Makhiya Aa Jaygi.
• 
  
• ============================
• E-Mail This
• Me- 3G ki speed nahi aa rahi h..?
• Call centre- Kaunsa handset use kar rahe h?
• Me- Iphone 5.
• CallCentr- Apple ka iphone..??
• Me- Nhi, Amrood ka. :p
• 
  
• 
  
• 
  
• 
  
• Tau- Maari bhains ne maara sim kha lia or bhag gi.
• Customer Care- To mai kya karu?
• Tau- Re Chhori, tu manne yu bata ki kahi roaming to na laagri s.. 😛
• 
  
• ============================
• Pappu by mistake goes into a ladies toilet..!
• All ladies suddenly stand up…
• Pappu – Izzat dil me ho yehi kaafi h,,,, Baitho Baitho.. :p 😛
• 
  
• ============================
• Paani Mein Visky
• Mila Lo To Nasha
• Chadta Hai
• Paani Mein Ram
• Mila Lo To Nasha
• Chadta Hai Paani Mein Brandy
• Mila Lo To Nasha
• Chadta Hai
• Lagta hai Saala
• Paani Mein Hee
• Kuch Gadbad Hai
• 
  
• ============================
• Ab Log Jante Hai Ki Pappu
• School Mein Badi Bevkoofiya
• Karta Tha, Ese Hi Ek Bar Class
• Ke Teacher Se Panga Ho Gaya…
• Kyu? Class Mein Teacher Pappu Se
• Puchta Hai.
• Teacher: Ye Kitaab Kiski Hai? Pappu : Kagaz Ki Hai Teacher: Haramkhor Ye To Main
• Bhi Janta Hoon Pappu : To Saale Kutte Fir Puch
• Kyu Raha Hai?
• 
  
• ============================
• Dhoni’s MOTHER:
• Market se sabji le
• aa..
• Dhoni: Par Maa
• match haar gaye
• na, Toh log bahut gusse me hain! Mother: Meri sari
• pehnkar jao,
• Koi nhi
• pehchanega.
• Dhoni goes 2
• mrket wearing sari. 1GIRL: Hi, Dhoni
• hw r u?
• Dhoni get shocked:
• Apko kaise pata
• chala? GIRL: Abbe! Mai
• Yuvraj Singh hu.
• 
  
• ============================
• Machchar ne aapko kaha
• wo uska junun tha.
• Aapne khujli ki wo aapka
• sukun tha.
• Chahkar bhi aapne use nahi
• mara bcoz uski ragon mehn bhi aapka hi khoon
• tha… 😛
• 
  
• ============================
• Girl: McDonald’s chale?
• Boy: Spelling bolo to hi jayenge.
• Girl: 1 kam karo KFC chalte hai.
• Boy: KFC ka Fullform bolo
• Girl: Rehne de kutte, samosa hi khila de.
• 
  
• Leave a comment
• admin department
• 
  
• 
  
• E-Mail This
• Ladki wale- beta kya kerte ho?
• Ladka- jee admin department me Hu!
• Ladki wale- kaun si company me beta?
• Ladka- whatsapp pe 3 group ka admin hu… 😛
• 
  
• Leave a comment
• 
  
• 
  
• Battery Low
• 
  
• 
  
• E-Mail This
• Pappu – Arey Yaar Ye Mobile To Mujhe kangal Kr Dega.!
• Bunty- Q?
• Pappu – Baar-2 Dikhata H Battery Low.
• Ab Tak 50 Battery Badal Chuka Hu.. :p
• 
  
• Leave a comment
• Duniya Me Kitne Desh Hai?
• 
  
• 
  
• E-Mail This
• Pappu : Ye Bata Ki Duniya Me Kitne Desh Hai?
• Bunty: Kar Di Na Akalmando Wali Baat, Duniya Me 1 Hi Desh Hai India, Baki Sab To Videsh Hai!..
• 
  
• 
  
• 
  
• 
  
• Obama: Tujhe swiming ati he?
• Lalu: Na!
• O: Tere se to kutta acha h jo swim kr leta he.
• L: Tumko ata he?
• O: Yaa!
• L: Sasura fir tohre me aur Kutta m farak ka he?.
• 
  
• Leave a comment
• Suicide Book
• 
  
• 
  
• E-Mail This
• Pappu Library Ja Kr Puchhta Hai-
• Suicide Karne Ke Tarike
• Book Hai Kya?
• 
  
• Librarian Ne Use
• Ghoor Ke Dekha Aur Puchha-
• Wapas Karne Kaun Aayega!!
• 
  
• Leave a comment
• Lalu JI 1 Mahine BUSH Se English Sikh kar Aye..
• 
  
• 
  
• E-Mail This
• Lalu JI 1 Mahine BUSH Se
• English Sikh kar Aye..
• 
  
• 1 Din 1 Phone Aya or
• Lalu Ji Bole- Who Is Speaking ?
• .
• .
• Jawab Aya..
• .
• .
• Sasura Hum Bol Raha Hu BUSHVA..
• 
  
• Leave a comment
• 1 bache ne class me potti kr di
• 
  
• 
  
• E-Mail This
• 1 bache ne class me potti kr di
• Teacher ne us ko Rs. 50 k
• jurmane ki parchi thama di.
• Bacha: Ye kya hai?
• Teacher: Rs. 30 potty k or Rs. 20 susu k.
• Bache ne jeb me hath dala or
• Rs. 55 nikale.
• Teacher: Ye jyada Q ?
• Bacha: Vidhya ke mandir me
• baitha hu jhoot nhi bolunga………. Ek paad bhi
• mara tha 5 us ke…..
• 
  
• ============================
• Veeru:1 Aurat Ko Ghurte Hue
• Ja Raha Tha
• Aurat= Dekhta Kya H Teri Maa
• Ki Umar Ki Hu
• Veeru:to Mai Bhi Apne Baap K
• Liye Hi Dhund Rha Hu.
• 
  
• ============================
• Bank manager: Ye kya ajeeb
• sa signature hai? “” Lady Customer : ye sign meri
• hai! Bank manager: aisa ajeeb sa
• sign? kya naam hai tumhara ? Lady : Jalebi Baai..
• 
  
• ============================
• Ek machchar ek takle ke
• sar par ja kar baitha, uske baad 2nd machchar- Wah.. kya
• ghar dhunda hai! 1st machchar- Ghar kaha
• re,abhi to
• sirf plot kharida hai……
• 
  
• ============================
• Boyfriend: Mai Tumhari
• Roz Roz ki Farmayisho se
• Tang Aa kar Khud Kushi’
• kar Rahaa hu..
• .
• . .
• .
• .
• .
• .
• . .
• .
• .
• .
• Girlfriend- Bas Karo
• Rulaoge kya. 1 acha sa White Suit Dila do
• bas.
• .
• .
• .
• . Tumhari 13ve pe Kya
• Pehnungi…
• ============================
• Maa: Beta, tu apne baal kyoon nahi katwaata? Pappu: Yo! its fashion mummy . . . . Maa: Wo to theek hai, par log teri beheno ko dekhne aate hain, aur tujhe pasand kar jaate hain..
• 
  
• ============================
• Daya: My god, he is dead. ACP: Lagta hai iski maut marne se hui hai.
• Dr. Salunkhe: Nahi boss, iski maut marne se nahi, jaan jane se hui hai.
• 
  
• ============================
• 
  
• 
  
• 
  
• Baba ramdev kahete hai
• Achhi sehat k liye saas pe control karo!!
• Ab baba ko kon samjaye ki-
• Yaha biwi pe control hota nahi
• To saas pr kaise control kare? 😀
• 
  
• ============================
• Teachr: Tum bade ho kr kya kroge?
• Pappu : Shadi.
• .
• Teachr: Nahi, mera mtlab kya banoge?
• Pappu :”DADDY “
• 
  
• ============================
• Attitude At Exam!!!!
• .
• .
• Teacher: Kuch Kiya Bhi Hai
• Ya Aise Hi Aa Gaye???
• .
• .
• .
• .
• Student: Sir, Breakfast
• Karke Aaya Hu, Or Aap?? 😛
• 
  
• ============================
• Arun – “sir ji, aap apni patni ko party mein kyunahi laate?” Boss – “woh gaon ki hai..” Arun – “Oh sorry, mujhe laga woh sirf aapki hai.
• 
  
• ============================
• Ek chote bacche ne apani pregnant mummy se pucha : Isme kya hai? Mummy : Issme pyara sa Baby hai. Baccha : Itna pyara tha to khaya kyu ussko?
• 
  
• ============================
• Pappu : Aaj Tv Pe 30 Feet Ka Saap Dikhane Wale Hai.
• Bunty: Acha
• Par Mai Nahi Dekh Paunga.
• Pappu : Kyu
• Bunty: Mera Tv To 21 Inch Ka Hi Hai…
• 
  
• ============================
• Sunil 2 Bunty:
• Yeh Doctor
• Log Operation Karne Se Pehle
• Patient Ko Behosh Kyun Karte Hai?
• 
  
• Bunty:
• Kahin Patient Khud Operation Karna Seekh Na Le Is Liye…… 😛
• 
  
• ============================
• Pappu : Maine Apki Dukan Se Murgi Dana Kharida Tha
• Dukandar: To Kya Usme Koi Kharabi Nikli
• Pappu :mahina Ho Gaya Muje Khet Me Boye Ab Tak Murgi Nahi Ugi.. 😛
• 
  
• ============================
• Sonu- Mai Nalayak Ko Bhi Layak Bana Sakta Hu..
• Monu- Wo Kaise?
• Sonu- Nalayak Se Na Hata K…
• 
  
• ============================
• Bunty Dialled A Phone No.
• A Computerizd Female Voice Said. ‘Apke Paas Paryapt Balance Nai Hai..’
• Bunty – Bas Janeman.. Tumse Baat Ho Jati Hai Itna Hi Kaafi Hai:-
• 
  
• 
  
• ============================
• 
  
• 
  
• Pappu English K Paper Me Fail Ho Gaya Translation Ki Wajah Se..
• 
  
• 1.main Ek Aam Aadmi Hoon. – I M A Mango Man.
• 2.mujhe English Aati Hai. … English Comes To Me.
• 3.mera Taluq Haripur Hazara Se Hai. I Blong 2 Greenpur Thousanda.
• 4.sadak Par Goliyan Chal Rahi Hai. Tablets Are Walking On The Road.
• 
  
• ============================
• Sonu Ne Banta Ko Thappad Mara
• Monu-ye Tune Mazak Me Maara Ya Seriously
• Sonu-seriously
• Monu-fir Thik Hai,muze Mazak Bilkul Pasand Nahi
• 
  
• ============================
• Bunty (On Phone): Maa, Khushkhabri Hai!
• Maa: Bolo Beta.
• Bunty : Hum, 2 Se 3 Ho Gaye.
• Maa: Badhai Ho, Ladka Hua Ya Ladki.
• Bunty : Na Ladka, Na Ladki. Maine Doosri Shaadi Karli.
• 
  
• ============================
• Monu- Tum Agle Birth Mai Kya Banana Chahte Ho?
• Sonu- Cockroach..
• Monu- Wo Kyu?
• Sonu- Kyuki Meri Patni Sirf Cockroach Se Darti Hai..
• 
  
• ============================
• E-Mail This
• Q:- Ye Pyar Kaise Hota Hai ?
• Ans:- Jab Time Kharab Chal Raha Ho,
• Shani Ki Dasha Kharab Ho.
• Aapka Mangal Bhari Ho Or Bhagwan Maza Lene Ke Mood Me Ho Tab Pyar Ho Jata Hai.
• 
  
• ============================
• Socho agar Doctor film banate
• to
• Filmo ke naam kya hote- kabhi khaasi kabhi jukham.,
• kaho na bukhaar hai,
• TB NO 1,
• Hum blood de chuke sanam,
• Rehna hai Ab Hospital me,
• Bachna Ae marijo, Dil to kamjor hai,
• Ek hasina do kidni,
• Ajab marijo ki gajab bimari..
• 
  
• ============================
• Husband: Tumse Shaadi Karke Mujhe Ek Bahut Bada Faayda Hua Hai.
• Wife: Woh Kya?
• Husband: Mujhe Mere Gunaaho Ki Saza Jeete-jee Hi Mil Gayi! 😛
• 
  
• ============================
• Sonu- Aaj Kal Zyada Bachche Judwa Kyo Paida Hote Hai?
• 
  
• Monu-desh Me Itna Aatankwaad Badh Gaya Hai Ke Bachche Akele Aane Se Darte Hai
• ..
• 
  
• ============================
• INSULT 😛
• .
• .
• .
• .
• Boyfriend : Please Keep Me In Your Brain, Not In Your Heart..;)
• .
• .
• Girlfriend : How Funny, Why Not Heart..??
• .
• .
• Boyfriend : Because
• .
• .
• . .
• Your Heart Is Housefull And Brain Is Empty,
• More Empty Space Means More Comfort
• ============================
• Ek Baccha Roz School Se Bhaag
• Kar Traffic Singal Pe Bhik
• Mangne Jata Tha. Esa Kar Kar Ke Usne Bahut Paise
• Kamaaye. Un Paiso Se Usne Ek Mobile
• Liya. Taqdeer Dekho Aaj Vo
• Haramkhor Apni Hi Story
• Khud Pad Raha Hai.
• 
  
• ============================
• 
  
• 
  
• Girl’s father- Main nahi chahta ki meri beti Apni puri zindgi 1 gadhe k sath guzare.
• Boyfriend- Bus, isiliye main use Yaha se le jane aya hun 😛
• 
  
• ============================
• Ladki: Chandni chand se hoti hai, sitaron se nahi
• Mohabaat ek se hoti hai, hazaron se nahi
• 
  
• Ladka: Chandni chand se hogi to sitaron ka kya hoga
• Mohabbat ek se hogi to hazaron ka kya hoga..
• 
  
• ============================
• In Jail:
• Sanjay Dutt ” Jailer saab, muje fir se Bapu dikh rela hai”
• Jailer “Kidhar”
• Dutt “Wo udhar dhoti me”
• Jailer “Abe Asaram hai wo”
• 
  
• ============================
• A man writing in his diary:
• Shaadi se pehle bhagwaan se duaa maangi thi ki achha PAKANE wali biwi dena.
• Saala, ‘khana’ mention karna hi bhool gaya!
• 
  
• ============================
• Mummy me aaj rat ko susu karne gaya to pata hai.., kya huwa?
• .
• .
• Mom : Nahi, kya hua beta
• 
  
• Child : mom, maine jaise hi bathroom ka darwaza khola na …To light apne aap chalu ho gai…
• thandi hawa aane lagi….
• .
• .
• .
• .
• .
• .
• .
• Mom..:
• Kamine
• Tu aaj Firr Freez me moot k aaya haram khoor …..
• 
  
• ============================
• E-Mail This
• MR.BEAN purchased a shampoo bottle & asked: Any free gift.?
• Shopkeeper: No.
• MR.BEAN: Don’t cheat. Here its written as
• .
• “Dandruff free..
• 
  
• ============================
• 1 Bachche ne shivji se cycle mangi
• 
  
• use cycle nahi mili
• usne mandir se ganesh murti churai aur 1 letter rakh diya
• 
  
• agar bachcha wapis chahiye to cycle le anaa.
• 
  
• ============================
• Patni: Agar main waqt hoti to log meri kitni kadar karte!
• 
  
• Pati: Log tumhe dekh ke dar jate!
• 
  
• Patni: Kyun?
• 
  
• Pati: Log kehte ki dekho bura waqt aa raha hai!
• 
  
• ============================
• Lady To Pappu :- Apka Doggy To
• Thoda
• Tiger Jaisa Dikhta Hai ,
• Kya Khilate Ho ,
• .
• .
• .
• .
• .
• .
• .
• .
• Pappu :- Ye Kamina Tiger Hi Hai ,
• Pyaar
• Vyaar Ke Chakar Me Pad Gaya ,
• Shakal
• Kutte Jaisi Ho Gayi Hai
• 
  
• ============================
• Raat ke 3 baje Pappu ke number par phone
• aaya – Hello yaha Fatima Mehfooz rehti hai kya?
• Pappu: Kutte itni raat ko Fatima mere paas
• hoti to mehfooz rehti kya?
• 
  
• 
  
• ============================
• 
  
• 
  
• New way of writting answers in exams.
• If you don’t know the answer,
• then put lines like this :
• ||||||||||
• and write below :
• “Scratch here for ANSWERS”
• 
  
• ============================
• Jyotish ladke ke haath dekhkar bola
• “Beta tum bahut padhoge”
• Ladka : Saale padh to mein 4 saal se raha hu,
• ye bata paas kab hounga???
• 
  
• ============================
• Wife : Ye aap ki shirt per lipstick ka nishan
• kahan se aaya?
• Husband : Mein khud paresaan hu nishan dekhkar.
• Maine tu uss wakt shirt utari hui thi 😛
• 
  
• ============================
• Wife : whenever we keep the money in the bags our son steals it,
• I don’t know what to do?
• .
• .
• .
• .
• Husband : Keep it in his books. I know he will never touch them…
• 
  
• ============================
• Larka ek Larki ka peecha kar raha tha.. . . . .
• Girl:”Tumhe pata hai, peeche meri Maa aa rahi hai.. . . . . .
• Larka:”Tu Tension Na Le Hum Khandani Aashiq hai.. . .
• Teri maa ke peechey mera Baap aa raha hai..
• Girl Shocked – Boy Rocked
• 
  
• ============================
• Ek Din Aapki Life Me Ek Ladki Aayegi Jo Aapko Bahut Pyaar Karegi Aapko Pyaar Se Tauch Karegi Or Aapko Dher Sari Kiss Kiya Karegi Or Kahegi I LOVE YOU PAPA.
• Sale Nalayko
• Ab To Sudhro Shadi B Ho Gai Tumari
• 
  
• ============================
• Teacher To Boy:
• Nalayak
• Class Me Din Bhar Ladkiyo K Sath Itni
• Baate Kyu Karta Hai?
• .
• .
• Boy:
• Sir Mai Garib Hu.!
• Mere Mobile me Whatsappp Nahi Hai…….
• 
  
• ============================
• Bunty ne Achanak Aankhe kholte hue kaha, Doctor sahib,kya mera Operation kamyab raha?
• 
  
• .
• 
  
• Sabar se kam lo beta,Mai Doctor nhi, “YAMRAJ” hun,,;->:-
• 
  
• ============================
• “Funny Propose”
• 
  
• Boy: Mujh se shadi karo gi
• 
  
• Girl: kia?
• 
  
• Boy: Achi film hai na!
• 
  
• Girl: Kuttay k bachay
• 
  
• Boy: What!!??
• 
  
• Girl: Kitnay cute hotay hain na?
• 
  
• ============================
• “Funny Romance”
• 
  
• Wife: Batao Tumhe Main Kitni Achchi Lagti Hoon ?
• 
  
• Husband :- Bahut Zyada
• 
  
• Wife :- Phir Bhi ; Kitni?
• 
  
• Husbnd :- Itni Ki Dil Chahta Hai Tumhari Jaisi 1 Aur Le Aaun
• 
  
• 
  
• ============================
• 
  
• 
  
• Teacher: Agar apna character sudharna hai
• to sab auraton ko MAA kaha karo.
• Student: Madam is se mera character to theek rahega,
• par mere baap ka bigad jayega.
• 
  
• ============================
• PROFESSOR: Akal badi ki bhais?
• MUNNA BHAI: Bole toh pehlay date of birth bata mamu.
• ============================
• Impact of Movies:
• 
  
• Teacher :- Who is Mahatma Gandhi?
• 
  
• Student:- He is the one who helped
• Munna Bhai to impress his girlfriend!
• ============================
• Teacher: Gandhi Jayanti k baray mein kya jantey ho?
• 
  
• Stdnt: Gandhi solid aadmi tha,
• par maa kasam apun ko ye nahi malum k ye Jayanti kaun thi.
• 
  
• ============================
• Sir to Student:
• “What is the full form of MATHS?”
• 
  
• student thinks hard & answers,
• 
  
• “Mentaly Affected Teachers Harming students” !
• 
  
• ============================
• Maths Teacher- If U Had
• 1000Rs In One Pocket And
• 1000Rs In Other Pocket,
• What Wud U Think?
• Pappu- I Think Aaj Galti Se
• Papa Ki Pent Pahenili 😀
• 
  
• ============================
• Teacher- “PYAR” or “ISHQ” mein kya frk hai?
• 
  
• Stud – Sir”Pyar”wo hai jo aap apni beti se karte hai.
• or “ISHQ” wo hai jo hum aapki beti se krtey hai
• 
  
• ============================
• Dad: Kyu Ro Rahe Ho Beta?
• Chintu: Teachar Ne Mara..!
• Dad: Tumne kuch Galti Ki Hogi.!!
• Chintu: Nahi dady Mai Toh Aaram se So Raha Tha..!
• 
  
• ============================
• Teacher: Jawani aur
• Budhape me farak batao?
• 
  
• Student: Jawani me mobile me “HASEENO”
• k numbers hote hai,
• Aur Budhape me “HAKEEMO” ke..! 😀
• 
  
• ============================
• Teacher: Dhobi ka kutta na ghar ka na ghat ka
• ab aisa 1 aur sentence banao..
• 
  
• Student: Sania ka baccha na india ka na pakistan ka!
• 
  
• 
  
• ============================
• 
  
• 
  
• Pappu ki master se hui ladai
• Mastr ne ki pappu ki dhulai
• Pappu ka grm hua khoon
• Gaya kabristan aur kabr pe master ke photo tang k likh diya
• COMING Soon
• 
  
• ============================
• sadness of a student
• Bada mushkil hai School ki
• Teacher se pyar karna
• .
• .
• .
• .
• .
• Love letter beja tha home work
• samaj ke check kar dia :(
• 
  
• ============================
• A child had never seen his hips,
• 1 day his teacher beat him on his hips,
• He comes back home n see his hips in the mirror & says..
• BAAPLE! DO TUKLE KAL DIYE!
• 
  
• ============================
• Teacher: How many months r there in a year
• Kid: 12
• Teacher: Wow how do u know
• kid: 12 Mahine Me
• 12 tarike se tujko
• Pyar Jatau Ga Re
• DHINKA CHIKA DHINKA CHIKA
• 
  
• ============================
• Maa- Beta, kya kar rahe ho..??
• Beta- Padh raha hun ma..
• Maa- Excellent..!!
• Kya padh rahe Ho..??
• Beta- Aapki hone wali bahu ke msgs! 😉
• 
  
• ============================
• Sonu sent sms 2 his boss ,me sick no work today
• .
• .
• .
• .
• .
• .
• .
• Boss sms back when i am sick i kiss my wife Try it
• .
• .
• .
• .
• Sonu sent sms to his boss 1 more time me ok ur wife vry sweet…..
• 
  
• ============================
• PATNI: Sunte ho
• padoswale Guptaji ki beti ko Maths mein 99 marks mile hain.
• PATI: Are wah, phir 1 number kahan gaya?
• PATNI: Woh humara beta laya hai!!
• 
  
• ============================
• Beta- Papa, aap jaise mujhe marte ho, vaise dadaji bhi apko marte the kya?
• Papa- Bilkul marte the
• Beta- Toh yeh khandani gundagardi kab tak chalegi?
• 
  
• ============================
• Pappu aur Bunty 8th mein aathvi Baar Fail Ho gaye
• 
  
• Pappu: Chal Suicide kar le
• 
  
• Bunty: Saaleya Pagal Ho Gaya Hai,
• Agle janam Fir NURSERY toh hi shuru karna payega 😛
• 
  
• ============================
• Sir- Smajh tuje 10 laddu diye.
• Boy- Muje?
• Sir- Samajh na tere baap ka kya jata hai.
• Usse mein se 5 muje diye to tere paas kitne bache.
• Boy- 20
• Sir- Kaise
• Boy- Samajh na tere baap ka kya jata hai.
• 
  
• ============================
• 
  
• 1 gaon me Rahul Gandhi ko 1 bache ne kaha:
• Sirji 14 mahino se yaha school me teacher nahi he.
• Rahul- To school kaise chal raha he?
• Bacha- Jaise desh chal raha hai! 😛
• 
  
• ============================
• Student school mein gadha lekar aaya?
• Teacher: Gadha kyu laye ho?
• Stud: Apne kaha tha
• Mene bade-2 gadho ko insan bnaya hai?
• mene socha iski bhi life ban jaye.
• 
  
• ============================
• Teacher: Chand par pehla kadam kisne rakha.
• Pappu: NEIL AMSTRONG.
• Teacher: Aur doosra….
• Pappu: Bawli doosra bhi usi ne rakha hoga.
• Langda thodi tha woh.
• 
  
• ============================
• Sir: Angrezo Ne CHAND par PANI
• aur BARAF ki Khoj kar li hai.
• Batao isse tumne kya sikha
• Pappu: Bas humein ab sirf DAARU
• aur NAMKEEN Leke Jana hai…
• 
  
• ============================
• Teacher Pappu se: Dahi ka English batao…
• 
  
• Pappu : Milk sleeping in the night,
• and sawere sawere tight!!
• ============================
• High class insult
• Teacher- Tum aaj 50 min late aaye ho.
• Ye koi time hai class me aane ka..
• 
  
• Student- Sir, mai late nahi aaya hu.
• Mai to agle lecture ke liye jaldi aaya hu.
• ============================
• Sonu Monu ne Hindi ka home work nahi kiya tha…
• Hindi teacher ne unko ped par ulta latakne ki saza di.
• Thodi der latakne ke baad Sonu neeche gir gaya.
• Hindi Teacher: Thak gaye kya?
• Sonu: Nahi pakk gaya..!!
• isliye gir gaya.
• ============================
• Teacher: You Just Got 5 Marks
• And Still You Are Laughing.
• Student: I Am Wondering How I Got 5 Marks Even…
• I Wrote Song Lyrics.
• 
  
• ============================
• Hum kabhi padh na sake..
• Kyun ki..?
• PADHAI sirf do wajah se hoti hai..
• 1. Shokh se..
• 2. Darr se..
• Faltu shokh hum paalte nahi..
• aur darte to kisi ke baap se nahi..!! (”,)
• 
  
• ============================
• Yesterday i named my Wifi “hack if you can”
• .
• .
• .
• .
• .
• .
• .
• .
• .
• Today when i woke up it was changed to “challenge accepted”
• 
  
• 
  
• 
  
• 
  
• 
  
• Ek din jab wo humse mile to bole kya hume yaad karte ho….?
• 
  
• Ab unhe kon btaye k yaad krna itna asaan hota to..
• hum apni class me top na kar lete..!!
• 
  
• ============================
• Teacher: Apne father ka nam bataao english me?
• Student: Beautiful red undrwear
• Teacher: What nonsense.. hindi me batao?
• Student: Sundr lal chadda
• 
  
• ============================
• Ek ladka pee kar ghar lauta,
• Dad se bachne ek liye
• LAPTOP kholkar padhne laga.
• Dad: Pi ke aaya hai?
• Son: Nahi to!
• Dad: Phir kaminey suitcase khol kar kya padh raha hai.
• 
  
• ============================
• Sonu to Monu:
• Yaar, Sir ka msg aaya hai ki
• aaj extra class hogi kya karu!
• 
  
• Sonu: “Message sending fail”
• likh ke bhej de.
• 
  
• ============================
• Exam + Rowdy Rathore
• .
• .
• .
• Jo main padhta hu wo main likhta hoon..
• .
• .
• aur..
• .
• .
• Jo main nahi padhta wo main definitely likhta hoon..!! 😀
• 
  
• ============================
• Teacher to Golu:
• NAADE ko english me kya kehte hain..!!
• Golu: P.H.D.
• Teacher: kya matlab?
• Golu: Pajama Holding Device..!!
• 
  
• ============================
• Student Shayari:
• Aasma mein kaali ghata chai hai,
• Aaj fir principal se mar khai hai,
• Sab kehte hai sudhar ja,
• Kya kare aaj madam fir sheela ban ke aayi hai. 😛
• 
  
• ============================
• Teacher : Why are u late?
• all ur classmates came to class on time.
• Student : “Jhund me kutte ate hain sir.. sher to akela ata hai.”
• 
  
• ============================
• Teacher: Shaadi ke waqt
• DULHE ko akele ghode par kyu bithaya jata hai..?
• 
  
• Student: Last warning di jati hai ki.
• 
  
• Abhi bhi waqt he
• “Bhaag Jaa”
• 
  
• ============================
• Teacher: Tumhare papa kya karte hai?
• Golu: Sir wo roz GALIYA khate hai
• 
  
• Teacher: Kya matlab?
• 
  
• Golu: Ji wo
• CUSTOMER CARE EXECUTIVE hai.
• 
  
• 
  
• ============================
• 
  
• 
  
• Teacher: 1 Din aisa ayega jab prithvi pe pani nahi rahega,
• Sab jeev nasht hojaynge
• prithvi tabaah hojaygi.
• Sonu: madamji, us din tution ana hai kya?
• 
  
• ============================
• Mam: Agar me teri maa ban jauto tuje 2 din me sudhar du!
• Golu: madam me abhi jake
• apne bapu ko btata hu ki..
• bapu teri lottery lgne wali hai. 😛
• 
  
• ============================
• Sir: Define Energy?
• 
  
• Sonu: Sir pura nai aata hain, thoda last ka pata hain, bas…
• 
  
• Sir: Thik hain, jitna aata hain utna bolo.
• 
  
• Sonu: “and this is called Energy…” 😛
• 
  
• ============================
• Sonu: Tu Mirror ke samne baith kar kyun padhta hai?
• 
  
• Monu: Iske 3 fayde hain.
• 1. Sath me revision ho jata hai.
• 2. Khud pe nazar bhi rehti hai.
• 3. Padhne ke liye company mil Jati.
• 
  
• ============================
• KG Boy: Mam may I go to toilet?
• Mam: No, A to Z sunao fir jana.
• Boy: ABCDEFGHIJKLMN__QRS_UVWX_Z.
• Mam: P,O,T,Y kaha hai!!
• Boy: Meri chaddi mein…!!! 😥
• 
  
• ============================
• 3rd class ka baccha: Madam main apko kaisa lag raha hu?
• Madam: so sweet
• Baccha: to mai apne mummy papa ko kab bheju apke ghar?
• Madam: kyu ?
• Baccha: Baat age badhane ke liye.
• Madam: ye kya Bakhwass hai!
• Baccha: Tution ke liye kya Madam
• app bhi na kasam se wattsapps padh padh ke Bigad gyi ho.. 😛
• 
  
• ============================
• 
  
• Bhikari: Bhagwan ke naam pe kuch de de.
• Engineer: Ye le meri B.Tech ki degree rakh le.
• 
  
• Bhikari: Tujhe chahiye to meri M.Tech ki rakh le.
• ============================
• Son: Papa kal school main
• ek small get together hai.. chaloge??
• Father: Small get together kya hota hai??
• Son: Only you me and principal..
• Died Laughing.
• ============================
• Ek student roz-roz Maths ke teacher ko phone lagata..
• 
  
• Teacher’s wife: kitni baar bataya, ke woh mar chuke hai..
• 
  
• Fir baar baar phone kyu karte ho..??
• 
  
• Student: Sun ke accha lagta hai. 😀
• 
  
• ============================
• Ek sachchi ghatna jise sochkar
• insaan ki rooh tak kaanp jaaye,
• 
  
• Lekin zaalimo ke haanth tak bhi nahi
• kaanpe ye sab paap karte huye.
• 
  
• Indore ki ek 17 Saal ki LADKI,
• Jisne abhi-abhi 12th pass ki thi,
• Aur
• Abhi jo din uske enjoy karne ke the.
• 
  
• Uske Sage MAMA ne behlaa fuslaa kar, Uska
• .
• .
• .
• .
• .
• .
• ENGINEERING ka form bharwa hi diyaa.
• 
  
• 
  
• 
  
• 
  
• Papu admission lene college gaya..
• 
  
• Principle: Main tum se 1 Mushkil sawal puchun ya 10 Asaan..??
• 
  
• Papu: 1 mushkil sawaal.
• 
  
• Principle: Batao Din pehle aata hai ya Raat..??
• 
  
• Papu: Din..
• 
  
• Principle: wo kaise.. ??
• 
  
• Papu: Sorry sir ye Aap ne Dusra sawal puch liya..
• 
  
• ============================
• Iss baar Sonu ne Physics ko hila daala..
• 
  
• All scientists failed to answer this..
• 
  
• Ques: Which liquid turns into solid on heating?
• .
• .
• .
• .
• .
• .
• .
• Sonu : Besan ke pakode!! 😀
• ============================
• Student: Sir, log Hindi ya English mein baat karte hai,
• Maths mein kyun nahi?
• 
  
• Sir: Zyada 3 5 na kar,
• 9,2,11 ho ja.
• Warna 5 7 maar dunga.
• 6 kw 36 Nazar ayenge aur 32 k 32 bahar aa jayenge.
• 
  
• Student: Sirji Hindi, English hi theek hai
• maths waqai khofnaak subject hai..!!
• 
  
• ============================
• Bhagwan ka diya sab kuch hai…
• Books hai
• Notes hai
• Time hai
• aur dimag to itna hai ke
• jab chahe padh ke TOP kar sakte hai!
• 
  
• Bas 1 hi bat ki kami hai..
• 
  
• ‘Mood’
• Salaa banta hi nahi. 😀
• 
  
• ============================
• After watching KICK
• 
  
• Student: Mere attendance ke baare me zyaada mat sochna
• ‘Main college me aata hoon,
• Lecture main nahi..’
• 
  
• ============================
• GF: Kya Soch rahe ho!!
• BF: Valentines Day ka program..
• GF: Kya socha!!
• BF: Tum subah subah aa sakti ho kya..!!
• Mujhe baad me ‘Bajrang Dal’ wali ke sath jana hai . 😀
• 
  
• ============================
• Ek 5th class ka bacha Bill Gates ko letter likhta hai
• Sir, Mujhe kuch sawal poochne hai
• 
  
• 1. Keyboard ke letters sahi jagah nahi hai,
• Keyboard ka sahi Version kab ayega..??
• 
  
• 2. Windows Main START ka button hai, STOP ka nahi!!
• 
  
• 3. Hum Ms-Word use karte hain,
• Mr-Word kab Release hoga..??
• 
  
• 4. Keyboard main ANY KEY ka button
• Nahi to computer kyun maangta hai..??
• 
  
• Aakhir main ek zati Sawal
• 
  
• 5. Aap ka naam GATES hai to aap
• WINDOWS kyun banate hai..??
• 
  
• ============================
• Pappu : Agar Nariyal Ke Ped Pe Chad Jaun To..
• Engineering College Ki Ladkiyan Dikh Jayegi.
• 
  
• Bunty: Phir Hath Chhod Dena,
• To Medical College Ki Bhi Dikh Jayegi.
• 
  
• ============================
• Monu to Son: Maths vich fail kyu hoya..
• Son: 1st day teacher kendi 5+3=8..
• Agle din kendi 6+2=8..fir kendi 4+4=8
• ullu di pathi khud confusd hai mainu ki padaeygi.
• 
  
• ============================
• Teacher: Oxygen is must for Breathing.
• It was discovered in 1773.
• Sonu: Thank God I was born after that.
• Pehla Paida hota to mar hi jata.
• 
  
• 
  
• 
  
• ============================
• 
  
• 
  
• 
  
• Dhokha milta hai jab pyar mein,
• Zindagi mein udasi chha jati hai,
• Sochte hain chhor denge is duniya ko,
• Kambakht college me dusri pasand aa jati hai.
• 
  
• ============================
• Teacher: Translate the sentence into English.
• 
  
• ‘Vasant ne Muje Mukka Mara’
• 
  
• Student: Vasantpanchmi 😆
• 
  
• ============================
• Pagal hain woh log jo 14 feb ko propose karte hai.
• 
  
• Meri mano to 1st april ko propose karo.
• 
  
• Maan gai to cool,
• Varna keh do behanji.. aprilfool!
• 
  
• ============================
• Boy: Jaaneman, is dil mein aaja!
• Gal: Sandal utaaroon kya?
• Boy: Are pagli,
• yeh koi mandir thodi hai,
• aise hi aaja!
• 
  
• ============================
• Boy: Why did Gandhiji have no hair on his head?
• 
  
• Teacher: Its sign of intelligence…
• 
  
• Boy: Now i understand y gals have so long hair! 😉
• 
  
• ============================
• Boy: Dear! Look into my eyes,
• wat U c? Tel honestly
• Girl: True LuV
• Boy: O bevkuf!
• machar nazar nhi aya kya? Jaldi nikaal
• 
  
• ============================
• Couple had a fight..
• Next morning Husband offed a glass of milk to his wife..
• Wife- R u sorry for fighting with me?
• Husband- No, today is Nagpanchami…
• Le nagin pi le.. 😀
• 
  
• ============================
• Girl- kya tum mujhse pyar karte ho..?
• Banta- haan
• Girl- lekin tume to meri parwaah hi nahi
• Banta- oye
• pyar karne wale kisi ki parwaah nahi karte! 😛
• 
  
• ============================
• Boy to Gym Coach-
• I Wanna Impress Cute Girl I’m Gonna Meet In 3 Days
• Which Machine Should I Use?
• Coach- Use The ATM Machine Outside The Gym 😀
• 
  
• ============================
• Girl: Janu kal mera b’day hai,
• Boy: Drlng Advance me happy b’day,
• Girl: kya gift dega
• Boy: kya chaiye
• Girl: RING
• Boy: Ring dunga pr uthana mat BALANCE nahi he!
• 
  
• 
  
• ============================
• 
  
• 
  
• Kamyabi ka Funda
• Apni zindgi me koi kaam karne se pehle
• Humesha kisi ladki se mashwara lena
• Aur
• Wo jo mashwara de
• Uska ulta karna
• Kamyab rahoge
• 
  
• ============================
• Agar Koi Ladki Ghar mein bhi har samay khoob saara Make-up laga kar ghume toh samjo
• 
  
• .
• 
  
• Ki
• 
  
• .
• 
  
• Uska Mobile Phone 3G hai 😀
• 
  
• ============================
• Girl’s smile creates greatest confusion in boy’s mind..
• Ghanto tak samajh hi nahi aata..
• Ki hass ke dekh rahi hai..
• Ya dekh ke hass rahi hai? :roll:
• 
  
• ============================
• BHIKARI- Sahab Rs. 10/- do Coffee pina hai
• MAN- Lekin 1 Coffee to 5/- ki hai?
• Sahab Girl-Friend bhi hai
• MAN- Bhikari hokar bhi GF banali?
• Nahi sahab
• GF ne Bhikari bana diya
• 
  
• ============================
• 1 Ladki Fasi Laga Rahi Thi,
• Pappu Ne Khidki Se Dekha,
• Socho Pappu Kya Bola Hoga…??
• 
  
• Sirf Latkne Se Height Nai Badhegi,
• Mummy Ko Bolo Complain Pilaye
• 
  
• ============================
• Most common chat on facebook:
• 
  
• Boy: hey
• (after few second boy thinks kamini reply to degi hi nahi)
• 
  
• Girl: hey hi
• (aa gaya kamina)
• 
  
• Boy: hows u?
• (chudail ko kya hoga bhala)
• 
  
• Girl: m fine
• (puch to aise raha hai jese hospital me admit hu)
• 
  
• Boy: bf hai?
• (kamini sb ko add karti hai kitno ko fasa ke rakha hoga) 😀
• 
  
• Girl: kyu btau?
• (kamina shuru ho gaya line marna) 😉
• 
  
• ============================
• after looking a slim girl-
• 
  
• Chehra tera khas nahi,
• Haddiyo me tera mass nahi,
• Propose main tujhe khak karu…
• 14 feb tk tere jeene ki aas nahi 😀
• 
  
• ============================
• 2 premi pahad pe marne gaye
• Ladka kud gaya ladki nahi kudi
• raste mein ladke ne perashut khola aur..
• cillaya mujhe pata tha chudel tu nahi kudegi.
• 
  
• ============================
• Lady drinking coke, machchar falls in.
• Lady takes it out, machchar says MAA
• Lady asks why did you call me MAA?
• 
  
• Machchar says,
• Main teri coke se nikla hoon… MAA
• 
  
• ============================
• Ladki ki Shaadi me Uska Puraana BOYFRIEND bhi aaya tha
• Sabhi ne usse pucha: Kya aap hi Dulhe ho..
• Boyfriend: Nhai main to Semi Final mein out ho gya,
• Final dekhne aaya hu.
• 
  
• 
  
• 
  
• Husband texts to wife on cell..
• Hi, what r u doing Darling?
• 
  
• Wife: Im dying..!
• Husband jumps with joy but types:
• Sweet Heart, how can I live without U?
• 
  
• Wife: U idiot! Im dying my hair..
• 
  
• Husband: Bloody English Language! :'(
• 
  
• ============================
• 2 cockroach ICU mein ek dusre ke bagal mein admit the..
• 1st- Kisne maara?
• 2nd- Arey koi ni, ek ladki mujhe dekh ke itna chillayi ke heart attack aa gaya!
• 
  
• ============================
• Pinki- Tumhare Papa kitne saal ke hai!!
• Pappu- Jitne saal ka mai hu.
• Pinki- Kaise!!
• Pappu- Jis din mai paida huwa usi din to wo papa bane..
• 
  
• ============================
• There is only one chat box available in Facebook for any profile.
• But girls maintain Two.
• .
• .
• .
• .
• .
• .
• .
• .
• .
• One- The regular chat box
• and the other is their comments under their Profile pics 😀
• 
  
• ============================
• A small girl looks at her
• brother’s girlfriend and asks innocently…
• 
  
• Everyday u come to meet my brother,
• Don’t u have your own brother? 😛
• 
  
• ============================
• Boy: I Love you!
• Girl: Hahahahaha
• 
  
• Boy: I Won’t Live without u.
• Girl: Hahahaha
• 
  
• Boy: I Will Die 4u!
• Girl: Hahahahaha
• 
  
• Boy: I will Gift u a Gold Ring.
• Girl: Awwww.. Pakka??
• 
  
• Boy: Hahahaha.
• 
  
• ============================
• Girl: Chalo main chupti hu tum mujhe dhundna.
• Agar dhund liya to hum shoping chalenge.
• Boy: Agar nahi dhunda to?
• Girl: Aisa mat kaho na jaanu main darwaze ke piche hi chupungi
• 
  
• ============================
• Mom to her 7 year old kid
• lets practice maths ok?
• lets start with addition.
• Example
• Your GF gave u 2 candy and 2 ice cream
• Whats ur answer?
• .
• .
• .
• .
• Boy: Love u Jaanu. 😉
• 
  
• ============================
• Classic Insult
• A Girl Singing in Bus.
• Boy: Why can’t you sing in radio?
• GirL: am i singing that much better?
• Boy: NOT like that we can off the radio so.
• 
  
• ============================
• Solid Bezzati
• Boy to Slim Girl:
• Apni Body to Dekho Jese Haddiya hi Haddiya ho..
• Girl: Isliye Itni Dair Se Soch Rahi Hu ke
• Mere Paas Kutta Kyu khada hain.
• 
  
• 
  
• 
  
• New style of love letter:
• 
  
• To,
• The janeman
• I LOVE YOU,
• 
  
• SUB- application for love.
• Jaan, i beg to say that i am student of ur heart.
• I am lonely. I cant live without u. So kindly grant my love.
• 
  
• Ur LOVE
• 
  
• ============================
• Arz kiya hai..
• Muskarana to har ladki ki adaa hai.
• Wah wah..
• Gor farmaiye..
• Muskarana to har ladki ki adaa hai.
• 
  
• Use jo mohabbat samjhe wo sabse bada GDHA hai. 😀
• 
  
• ============================
• night was dark
• 
  
• Moon was high
• 
  
• Boy stopped bike
• 
  
• Girl asked why?
• 
  
• He came close..
• 
  
• She felt shy..
• & he said
• 
  
• DHAKKA MAAR
• Herion petrol… khatam ho gaya hai.
• ============================
• Girl: Which computer do u have?
• Boy: I have a computer with intel core i7
• processor at 3.3 ghz, windows 7, 64 bit, 8gb ram
• & nvidia gtx 560 graphics card.
• 
  
• Boy: which computer do YOU have???
• Girl: A PINK ONE !! 😛
• 
  
• ============================
• Girl: Mein tmhare liye aag pe chal sakti hu
• angaro se naha sakti hu.
• 
  
• Boy: Kya tum mujhe abhi milne aa sakti ho.
• 
  
• Girl: Pagal hai kya dhoop dekhi hai kitni tez hai.
• 
  
• ============================
• Ladka: I LOVE U
• Ladki: Sorry main kisi aur se pyar karti hu.
• Ladka udas ho gya fir achanak bhagne laga aur
• Bola..
• Teri mammi ko Btaunga.
• 
  
• Ladki: Ruk ja kamine I LOVE U TO.
• 
  
• ============================
• Marvadi vs Sindhi
• 
  
• A Marwadi Boy fell LOVE with a Sindhi Girl…
• 
  
• Sindhi Girl: Jab Dad so jayenge to me niche SIKKA fekungi, awaz sunkar tum turant ander aa jana !!!
• 
  
• But Boy sikka fekne ke ek ghante baad aaya.
• 
  
• Sindhi Girl: Itna der kyo laga di???
• 
  
• Marwari Boy: Wo mai sikka DHUND raha tha!!!
• 
  
• Sindhi Girl: pagal woh to “DHAAGA BAANDH” ke feka tha, wapas khich liya!! 😛
• 
  
• ============================
• Girls ki problem
• Simple ladke pasand nahi,
• Modern ladke sincere nahi,
• Ranbir kapoor milta nahi,
• aur
• Main in chakkaro me padta nahi….. 😛
• 
  
• ============================
• Boy on a date in his BMW car.
• Maine tumse ek baat chupayi hai..
• 
  
• GF: kya?
• BF: I m already married!
• GF: Tumne toh dara hi diya tha..
• maie samjhi BMW tumhari nahi hai…
• 
  
• ============================
• Boy: Hum 45 bhai behen hain.
• 
  
• Girl: kya..!! tumhare ghar population check karne wale nahi aaye the?
• 
  
• Boy: Aaye the, hum padh rahe the woh coaching center samajh kar chale gaye.
• 
  
• 
  
• ============================
• 
  
• 
  
• Style of Break up
• Boy ne apni GF ko Rocket Gift kiya
• GF: What the Hell is this?
• Boy: Tujay chand taare chahiye thay na,
• is par baith or nikal…
• Shabash… 😀
• 
  
• ============================
• Short & Sharp:
• 
  
• Wife: I hate you.
• 
  
• Husband: What a co-incidence.. 😈
• 
  
• ============================
• Boy: Hello, Pammi darling… kaisi ho?
• Girl: Who’s this?
• Boy: Tera aashiq hun; jaaneman !!
• Girl: Tu Bunty hai na.
• Boy: Yes; but how do you know ?
• Girl: Tu Bansilal ka beta hai na.
• Boy: Yes but how you know me??
• Girl: Tu Ramlal ka pota hai na…..
• Boy: Yes !! but jaanu, tumhe ye sab kaise pata?
• Girl: Bunty Haramkhor; kutte, mai teri Maa hun!!
• Tune ‘Pummi’ ko nahi, ‘Mummi’ ko phone lagaya hai!!
• 
  
• ============================
• Arranged marriage is-
• Like u r walking & unfortunately a snake bites u…&
• 
  
• Love marriage is-
• Dancing in front of a cobra & say.
• Kaat.. kaat.. kaat na. 😀
• 
  
• ============================
• Aankho mein nami thi,
• Aur vitamin ki kami thi..
• Wah.. Wah..
• 
  
• Jis se raat-bhar chatting ki
• Woh Girl-friend ki mummy thi.. 😀
• ============================
• Girlfriend and Boyfriend on phone
• Boy: Hey aaj kya khana khaya ?
• Girl: tumhe bas yehi batain karni aati hain.
• Boy: Oh oh ok ye batao?
• How should central bank fight these inflationary trends with minimum intervention in the money markets?
• Girl: hmmmm… daal chawal khaye hai!!!
• 
  
• ============================
• Jhuta tha wo Dost..!!
• Jo kehta tha Jaan bhi maango de dunga,
• Aaj woh apni girlfriend ko Jaan kehta hai,
• Aur maango to kamina gaaliya deta hai… 😀
• 
  
• ============================
• In a school function
• A K.G boy started closing his ears with both hands,
• When girl was about to start her speech …
• Others asked him Why r you closing your ears?
• 
  
• He replied: Dude, She is my Girlfriend
• n She is gonna start her speech with
• .
• .
• .
• .
• .
• My Dear
• Brothers n Sisters .. :roll:
• 
  
• ============================
• Touching lines said by a boy to a girl
• during breakup
• .
• .
• .
• .
• .
• .
• .
• .
• .
• .
• .
• behen gifts to wapis karti ja
• teri bhabi ko kya do ga!
• 
  
• ============================
• Agar koi Ladki make-up karke,
• Sajdhaj kar,
• New dress pehan kar,
• Shaadi,
• Party,
• ya kisi function me
• ja rahi ho..
• .
• .
• .
• Toh samajh lo..
• .
• .
• .
• .
• .
• .
• Next day ya to uski profile pic change hogi ya…
• 
  
• Relationship status..
• 
  
• 
  
• ============================
• 
  
• 
  
• Aashiqui 2 dekh ke pata chala ki
• 1 ladka 1 ladki ke liye jaan de sakta hai
• but
• DARU nahi chhod sakta.. Piyo bhai piyo..
• ============================
• (Height of Smiley usage)
• Boyfriend & girlfriend on whatsapp :
• 
  
• Boy: kesi ho..??
• Girl: : D
• 
  
• Boy: missing me..?
• Girl: o . O
• 
  
• Boy: Yaar meri tabiyat khrab hai
• Girl: : O
• 
  
• Boy: aaj kaisa din guzra…??
• Girl: : P
• 
  
• Boy: Busy ho…??
• Girl: : \
• 
  
• Boy: Koi paas hai…??
• Girl: naaaa : |
• 
  
• Boy: To kuch likh bhi de,
• apne Baap ki shaklein kyu send kar rahi hai?
• Girl: X (
• 
  
• Boy: I heard u failed in English?
• Girl: Who TELLED you? It is UNpossible.. I sawED d result ystrdy… I Passed AWAY
• Boy: Tu smiley hi use kar..
• 
  
• ============================
• TEACHER: Wo Kaun Sa Department hai Jisme Aurat Kaam Nahi Kar Sakti?
• STUDENT: Fire Brigade.
• TEACHER: Wo Q?
• STUDENT: Aurato Ka Kaam AAG Lagana Hai, Bujhana Nahi
• 
  
• ============================
• A boy calls his EX-
• Boy : Hey i just saw a movie, it reminded me of you..miss you..
• Gal : Awwwww.. even i miss you..kaunsi movie dekhi?
• Boy : Ek thi daayan
• 
  
• ============================
• Classic insult..
• 
  
• Girl: Meri 1-1 saans pe 1-1 ladke marte hai..
• 
  
• Boy: To tum koi accha sa toothpaste istimaal kyo nahi karti..??
• 
  
• ============================
• Auto driver ki seat ke piche
• Bahut mast lines likhi thi, couples ke liye-
• .
• .
• .
• .
• .
• .
• .
• .
• Bharat ki Sanskriti me sab kuch bikta hai,
• 
  
• Izzat se baithe
• Aaine me sab kuch dikhta hai.!! 😀
• 
  
• ============================
• A police officer sees a blonde woman driving and knitting at the same time. Exasperated, he drives up next to her and screams out the window, “Pull over!” The blonde responds, “No Silly, it’s a scarf.”
• 
  
• ============================
• I knew a blonde that was so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead because she wanted to make up her mind.
• 
  
• ============================
• A robber comes into the store & steals a TV. A blonde runs after him and says, “Wait, you forgot the remote!”
• 
  
• ============================
• Two blondes fell down a hole. One said, “It’s dark in here isn’t it?” The other replied, “I don’t know; I can’t see.”
• 
  
• 
  
• ============================
• 
  
• Q: What will be the girl’s name born on 1st of APRIL?
• .
• ..
• …
• Guess
• Guess Guess
• A: FOOLAN DEVI!
• 
  
• ============================
• Iss Kadar Hum Aapko Chahte Hein;
• Ke Duniya Wale Dekh Ke Jal Jate Hein,
• Yu Toh Hum Sabhi Ko Ullu Banate Hein
• Lekin Aap Thoda Jaldi Ban Jaate Hein!
• Happy April Fool!
• 
  
• ============================
• Q: How do you know that carrots are good for your eyesight?
• 
  
• A: Have you ever seen a rabbit with glasses?
• 
  
• ============================
• Little girl: “Why does your son say, ‘Cluck, cluck, cluck?'”
• 
  
• Mother: “Because he thinks he’s a chicken.”
• 
  
• Little girl: “Why don’t you tell him he’s not a chicken?”
• 
  
• Mother: “We need the eggs.”
• 
  
• ============================
• Wo Aankh Badi Hi Pyari Thi.., Jo Usne Humko Maari Thi.., Hum To Muft Me Lut Gye yaaron.., Hume Kaha Pata tha Ki Unko… Baba Ram Dev wali Bimari Thi.
• 
  
• ============================
• Machchhar Ka Bachcha Paheli Baar Uda. Jab Wapis Aaya To Baap Ne Pucha,Kaisa Laga? Machchhar-Bahut Achchha,Jaha B Gaya Log TALIYA Baja Rahe the
• 
  
• ============================
• Cheese is Cheese
• Butter is butter
• if u 4get me
• i will throw u in
• *-*-*-*-*-*-*
• * G U T T E R *
• *-*-*-*-*-*-*
• 
  
• ============================
• SomeOne..
• MiSSES U..
• NeeDS U..
• Worries About U
• Lonely Without U
• Guess Who?
• THE MONKEY IN
• … THE ZOO ..
• 
  
• ============================
• Plz call me,
• its urgent.
• Ek accident ho gaya hai.
• .
• .
• .
• .
• .
• Aap ka hi blood group chahiye,
• Plz mana mat karna
• .
• .
• Warna
• .
• .
• GADHA mar jayega
• 
  
• ============================
• Fact1: You can not touch
• your lower lip with your tounge…
• 
  
• Fact2: After reading this,
• 99/100 idiots would try it.
• 
  
• 
  
• ============================
• 
  
• Bunty Bar Bar Apni Windows Ka
• Password Bhool Jata Tha.
• Ek Baar Usne Socha
• Mein Apni Windows Ka Password
• Kya Rakhu Jo Kabhi Na Bhulu.
• Usne Pasword Rakha ‘INCORRECT’.
• Ab Jab Bhi Wo Ghalat Password Enter Karta
• Computer Usey Khud Bata Deta
• “Ur Password Is Incorrect”
• Bunty Rocked Computer Shocked….
• 
  
• ============================
• Teacher: “Aise koi 5 animals ke naam batao jo pani mein rehte hain..”
• 
  
• Student:
• Fish,
• Fish ki Mummy,
• Fish ke Papa,
• Fish ka bhai,
• Fish ki Sister…
• 
  
• ============================
• A man is driving down a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving up the same road.
• 
  
• ============================
• Pappu Ne god Se Pucha
• Kya Mai Agle Janam Me
• Gadha Ban Sakta Hoon..
• God Ne Jawab Diya
• aap iss suvidha ka labh pehle hi le chuke hai.
• ============================
• Aap k chehre par udasi aur aankho me nami hai,
• 
  
• Aapke chehre par udasi aankho me nami hai,
• 
  
• TATA NAMAK istemaal karo aap me iodine ki kami hai..!
• 
  
• LOL
• 
  
• ============================
• ATTITUDE
• A boy went prposes a Girl:If she saysYes
• Boy feels”Pata nhi kitno ko han kaha hoga”
• If she sys No,Bandariya Khudko Katrina samajti HAi.
• 
  
• ============================
• Tere Liye Me Chand KoTod Du,
• Suraj Ko Mod Du,
• Zamin Se Asma Jod Du,
• Tu Ekbar Has Ke DekhTere Sare Daat Tod Du.
• Ab jaldi se so ja.
• 
  
• ============================
• Delhi ki sardi, U.P ki garmi, Mumbai ki barish, Patna ka coruption, kashmir ka terrorism, Africa ka saap aur chidiya ghar ke aap.. BAAP RE BAAP!!
• 
  
• ============================
• Sonu Monu Se- Yaar I-m Going Ka Kya Matlab Hota Hai Batao..
• Monu- Mai Ja Raha Hu…!
• Sonu – Are Jate Jate Matlab To Batake Ja..
• 
  
• 
  
• ============================
• 
  
• Teacher:-john ne raat ko khana khaya is ka Future Tens kya hoga..
• .
• .
• .
• .
• 
  
• Student :-“John subah ko uth kar potty karega. .
• 
  
• ============================
• Modern zamaney ki ladki ka baap: Beti tum paheley mujhey papa kahey kar bolati thi ab dad keyo..
• Beti:papa kaheny se ipstick kharab ho jati hai!
• 
  
• ============================
• Bus me Pappu 1 ladki pe ja gira tab ladki boli:Battamiz kya kar rahe ho….
• Pappu bola:Ji PUNJAB UNIVERSITY se B.A kar raha hu…!
• ============================
• Message:
• Unka chehara dekh ke bola aina,
• 
  
• wah..wa
• 
  
• Unka chehara dekh ke bola aina,
• 
  
• This fairness cream is made in china!
• 
  
• ============================
• Students song..
• 
  
• Hum honge all pass
• 
  
• Hum honge all pass
• 
  
• 1 din,
• ho ho
• 
  
• sote he bindas,
• 
  
• LIkhte he bakwas,
• 
  
• Karte he timepass,
• 
  
• Fir b h vishwass…
• 
  
• Marks milenge jhakkas..
• 1 din……
• ============================
• Girls should not study much..
• kyu..
• socho
• socho
• kyu ke
• Is dunia k kisi kone me koi na koi gadha us k liye padh hi rha hoga
• 
  
• ============================
• A girl to her boyfriend:
• Is hafte roz shopping karenge,next hafte roz movie dekhenge
• Bf- Uske agle hafte roz mandir jayenge
• Gf- Q..
• Bf- Bhikh mangne
• 
  
• ============================
• If u care 4 me,i will care 4 u,if u miss me,i will miss u,if u msg me,i will msg u,if u forget me..
• sorry dear kahani me TWIST hai,i will kill U!
• 
  
• ============================
• Class mai 1 bar naya mahol cha gaya
• Teacher ko Pappu se pyar ho gaya
• Tabhise Pappu ka dil udas ho gaya
• Class ke sare bacche fail aur Pappu pass ho gaya
• 
  
• ============================
• Girl: mom aaj 1 ladke ne mere gal pe kiss kiya.
• 
  
• Mom:tune usko chata mara ya nahi.
• 
  
• Girl:mujhe achanak Gandhiji yaad agaye aur maine dusra gal age kar diya.
• 
  
• ============================
• 
  
• 
  
• Dabangg effect-
• Sir: lallu tumhare sare ans galat hai,
• marks de to kahan..
• 
  
• Lallu: KAMAL KARTE HO MASTERJI,MARKS HI TO MANG RAHE HAI,CHUP CHAP DE DO WARNA THAPPAD MAR K B LE SAKTE HAI.
• 
  
• Sir: Badtamiz
• kya bak rha hai..
• 
  
• Lallu: BADTAMIZ SE YAAD AYA MASTERJI, APKA BETA KAISA HAI..
• 
  
• Sir: Gadhe,nikal ja class se!
• 
  
• Lallu:CHUP CHAP SE MARKS DE DO MASTERJI,WARNA ANS PAPR ME ITNE CHHED KARENGE, KI CONFUSE HO JAOGE KI MARKS KAHA DE AUR ZERO KAHAN!!
• 
  
• ============================
• Boy-Ro Q rhi ho..
• Girl-Mere marks bahut kam aaye h.
• Boy-Bata kitne aye h..
• Girl-Sirf 90%
• Boy-Khuda ka khof kar zalim itne me to 2 ladke pass ho jate
• 
  
• ============================
• Bihari Aurat Cheque Cash karane gai
• Clerk- Sign karo
• Aurat- Kaise?
• Clerk- Jaise Khat k end me likhti ho.
• Aurat ne likha-
• “TOHAR CHUMMA KE INTEJAR Me, BiiiJLi.!
• 
  
• ============================
• 1 terorist ne 1 budhiya k ghar me bomb rakh diya.
• Log chillaye- Budhiya bomb h!
• Budhiya bomb h!
• Budhiya sharmakar boli- DHATT, Wo to me ‘JAWANI’ me thi. Ha,HA..
• 
  
• ============================
• 5th class ka student apne dost se: Kitna MuskiL H SchooL Ki “Teacher” Se Pyar Karna,
• 2 Dost: kyun?
• 
  
• “LOVE-LETTER” Beja Tha…
• Home Work Samz Ke Check kar DIA.
• 
  
• ============================
• 1 ladka gadhe k samne gir gaya. 1 khubsurat ladki ne dekha aur kaha,”Apne bade bhai k pair chhu rahe ho?” Ladka bola,”JI BHABHI JI!”
• 
  
• ============================
• UNKNOWN CALL-
• HE:”Do u hv a bf?”
• SHE:”Yes! Who r u?”
• HE:”Tera bhai..Ruk kamini gahr aata hu dhulai krne!”
• ANOTHER UNKNOWN CALL-
• HE”Do u hv a bf?”
• SHE-“Oh no no! Who r u?”
• HE-“I m ur bf..Cheat u broke my heart!”
• SHE-“Oh darling sorry I thought u r my bro!”
• HE-“Tera bhai hi hu kamini….Aaj to bas ghar aane ki der hai!”
• 
  
• ============================
• Sir-“Samundar Mein Nimbu ka Ped Ho To Tum Kaise Todoge?”
• Bunty -“Chidiya Bankar.”
• Sir-“Aadmi ko Chidiya Tera Baap banayega!”
• Bunty -“Samundar Mein Ped Aapka baap lagayega!”
• 
  
• ============================
• 1st woman-kuchh suna ya nahi bharat ne hindustan par hamlakardiya hai
• 2nd woman- hame dar hai ki kahin ek missile mere pe nagir jaye
• 3rd woman-arre tumsab fikra kyon kartihohum india me rahte hai.
• 
  
• ============================
• Gf- I love you.
• Boy- Tell me any diffrant style.
• Gf- TERE LASH KO AAG LAGANE KA MOKA MERE BETE KO DEGA KYA.
• 
  
• ============================
• 
  
• 
  
• Munna Bhai Ke ghar LADKI hUE.
• Circuit- Bhai ab to muhale ke, Sare ladke isko line marenge.
• MUNNA- Tu fikar mat kar re, Apun iska naam DIDI rakhenge.
• 
  
• ============================
• Gabbar : Kitne Aadmi the ?
• Kalia : Sarkar 1
• Gabbar : Aur tum ?
• Kalia : 100
• Gabbar : fir b wapas aa gaye woh b khali hath,
• kaun tha woh ?
• .
• kalia : RAJNIKANT.
• Gabbar : Oops ! sorry bhai…
• 
  
• ============================
• Frustrated Rajnikant:
• “Kuch to
• Rehem karo kamino ..!..Ab Ye
• Kisne Likha Ki Rajni Jab Chawal Khata
• Hai..To Uske bum Se Idli Nikalti
• Hai..
• 
  
• ============================
• Wife: “In my dream, I saw you in a jewelry store and you bought me a diamond ring.”
• Husband: “I had the same dream and I saw your dad paying the bill.”
• 
  
• ============================
• E-Mail This
• Teacher: “Kids,what does the chicken give you?”
• Student: “Meat!”
• Teacher: “Very good! Now what does the pig give you?”
• Student: “Bacon!”
• Teacher: “Great! And what does the fat cow give you?”
• Student: “Homework!”
• 
  
• ============================
• Boy: Mom Aaj Khaane Mein Kya Banaya Hai…
• 
  
• Mom: Baigan Ki Sabji…
• 
  
• Boy: Kya Mom!!!! Phir Baigan Ki Sabji? Aapko Toh Pata Hai Ki Mujhe Baigan Bilkul Achche Nahin Lagte……
• 
  
• Mom: Ye Sab Nakhre Apni Bivi Ke Samne Karna, Tab Toh Munh Se Ek Shabad Nahin Niklega Jo Vo Banaygi Chup Chaap Kha Loge!!!
• 
  
• Boy: Ok Lao Baigan Hi Khata Hu…
• 
  
• After Marriage……….
• Boy: Aaj Khane Mein Kya Bana Hai Darling?
• 
  
• Wife: Baigan Ki Sabzi!!!
• 
  
• Boy: Kya??? Baigan Ki Sabzi…!!!
• 
  
• Wife: Ye Nakhre Na Apni Maa Ke Saamne Kiya Karo, Tab Toh Kuch Bola Nahi Jaata.
• 
  
• Boy: Achcha Lao, De Do Baigan Ki Sabzi…
• 
  
• Bechaare Ladke…
• 
  
• ============================
• The awkward moment when 😉
• 
  
• when your friend is arguing with their
• parents &
• 
  
• their parents turns towards you
• and asks
• 
  
• “Do you ever talk to your parents like this?” XD
• lolz….
• 
  
• ============================
• Boy: I Hate To See A Girl Standing In A Bus
• When I Am Comfortably Seated.
• Girl: So What Do You Do?
• Boy: I Close My Eyes And Sleep
• 
  
• ============================
• Boy: I Hate To See A Girl Standing In A Bus
• When I Am Comfortably Seated.
• Girl: So What Do You Do?
• Boy: I Close My Eyes And Sleep
• 
  
• ============================
• A boy wanted to know the age of his girl friend….
• 
  
• So he asked
• 
  
• Boy: Dear what’s your birth date?
• 
  
• Girl: 4th November
• 
  
• Boy : which year
• 
  
• Girl: O JAAN “EVERY YEAR”…
• 
  
• 
  
• ============================
• 
  
• Principal:
• Why Are You Late?
• Your Classmates Came Together On Time.
• Student:
• Sir, Sheeps Always
• Come Together
• But
• Lion Always come alone…..
• 
  
• ============================
• Difficult To Understand Girls
• Few days back when she called me I was having food
• She got angry that i didnt ask her to join me..
• Today when she called i was..
• .
• .
• .
• Taking bath & i asked her to join,
• she was angry again..!!
• 
  
• ============================
• When a man opens a car door for his wife
• .
• .
• .
• It is either he has a new car or a new wife…. 😛
• 
  
• ============================
• A Software Engg was smoking
• Girl: Didn’t u see the warning ?
• Smoking is injurious to health.
• Engineer: We bother only about errors & not warnings.
• 
  
• ============================
• A pizza and an apple were thrown down from the 15th floor.
• Which will reach down first?
• .
• .
• Ans:The Pizza,as it’s fast food!
• 
  
• ============================
• I am Looking for a Bank
• which can perform Two things for me.
• 
  
• Give me a Loan,
• and
• then Leave me Alone……….
• 
  
• ============================
• Only Two Types Of Communications Are Fastest In The World…
• .
• .
• .
• E-Mail To Email
• &
• Female To Female………
• 
  
• ============================
• “ Women wont play football not coz they aren’t gud at
• it..
• But coz its against their ego to b dressed up exactly like
• 10 other women in front of 10,000 people.. 😉 ”
• 
  
• ============================
• A Journalist To A Doctor Of A Mental Hospital:
• 
  
• “How Do You Determine Whether To Admit A Patient Or Not?”
• 
  
• Doctor: “Well, We First Fill A Bathtub With Water Till The Top. Then Give A Teaspoon,
• 
  
• A Glass & A Bucket To The Patient & Ask Him / Her To Empty The Bathtub.”
• 
  
• Journalist: “Obviously A Normal Person Would Use A Bucket Because It’s Bigger!”
• 
  
• Doctor: “No You Stupid, A Normal Person Would Pull The Drain Plug!
• 
  
• Admit This Idiot In Ward No. 39
• 
  
• ============================
• Man1 : Hey, man! Please call me a taxi.
• 
  
• Man2 : Yes, sir. You are a taxi.
• 
  
• ============================
• 
  
• 
  
• 
  
• Things in Boys room Before marriage:
• 
  
• Perfumes
• 
  
• Love letters
• 
  
• Laptops
• 
  
• Cards
• 
  
• Nokia Lumia
• 
  
• .
• 
  
• And After marriage:
• 
  
• Pain killers
• 
  
• Loan papers
• 
  
• Unpaid bills
• 
  
• Huggies
• 
  
• Nokia 1100
• 
  
• ============================
• Teacher: What is the name of the capital city of Punjab ?
• 
  
• Pappu: Amritsar.
• 
  
• Teacher: Pappu, you are wrong, you need to focus more on your studies.
• 
  
• Pappu: Please madam, can I ask you a few questions.
• 
  
• Teacher: Yes, go ahead.
• 
  
• Pappu: Do you know Jeeto ?
• 
  
• Teacher: No.
• 
  
• Pappu: Do you know Preeto ?
• 
  
• Teacher: No.
• 
  
• Pappu: Do you know Banto?
• 
  
• Teacher: (Angry) Hell no! Who are all these people and why do you ask ?
• 
  
• Pappu: Teacher, you need to Focus more on your husband.
• 
  
• ============================
• Heights of :-
• 
  
• 1) Fashion?
• Lungi with a zip.
• 
  
• 2) Laziness?
• Asking lift for morning walk.
• 
  
• 3) Craziness?
• Get blank paper xerox.
• 
  
• 4) Hope?
• A 99 yr. Old woman going for 295/-recharge to get lifetime incoming.
• 
  
• 5) Stupidity?
• Looking through key hole of a glass door.
• 
  
• 6) Suicide attempt?
• A dwarf jumps from the footpath on the road.
• 
  
• 7) Height of free time?
• You are reading the whole msg
• 
  
• ============================
• E-Mail This
• God thought that since he couldn’t b everywhere he made a mother.
• 
  
• Then devil thought that he couldn’t be everywhere he made a mother-in-law.
• 
  
• ============================
• Boy: Hey !
• .
• Girl: Hi ! What u doing ?
• .
• Boy: Texting the most beautiful girl in
• the world..
• Girl: Aww How cute !
• .
• .
• .
• .
• .
• Boy: Ya ! But She is not replying, so m
• texting U !!
• 
  
• ============================
• Our Phones: Wireless
• 
  
• Cooking: Fireless
• 
  
• Cars: Keyless
• 
  
• Food: Fatlewss
• 
  
• Tyres: Tubeless
• 
  
• Dress: Sleeveless
• 
  
• Youth: Jobless
• 
  
• Leaders: Shameless
• 
  
• Relationships: Meaningless
• 
  
• Attitude: Careless
• 
  
• Feelings: Heartless
• 
  
• Education: Valueless!
• 
  
• ============================
• Husband throwing knives on wifes picture.
• All were missing the target!
• Suddenly he received call from her
• “Hi,wat ru doin?”
• His honest reply,”MISSING U”
• 
  
• ============================
• A Simple fact:
• 
  
• Boys Can Never B
• Satisfied With
• 3 Things In Life:
• 
  
• -Mobile
• -Bike
• -Girlfriend
• 
  
• Because;
• There Is Always
• A Better Model
• Available In Future
• 
  
• ============================
• A Small Boy Took A Knife
• And Wrote His Girlfriend’s Name 0n His Hand..
• After A Minute He Started Crying Loudly..
• Why ???
• .
• .
• .
• Paining ???
• .
• .
• .
• No !!
• .
• .
• .
• Then ???
• .
• .
• .
• Spelling Mistake !!!
• 
  
• ============================
• Teacher : Correct the sentence,
• “A bull and a cow is grazing in the field”
• 
  
• Student : “A cow and a bull is grazing in the field”
• Teacher : How?
• 
  
• Student : Ladies first.
• 
  
• 
  
• ============================
• 
  
• 
  
• Manager: Do you know anything about this fax-machine?
• 
  
• Staff: A little. What’s wrong sir?
• 
  
• Manager: Well, I sent a fax, and the recipient called back to say all she received was a blank page. I tried it again, and the same thing happened.
• 
  
• Staff: How did you load the sheet?
• 
  
• Manager: I didn’t want anyone else to read it by accident, so I folded it so only the recipient would open it and read it.
• 
  
• ============================
• Boy1 : Meet my wife Tina
• 
  
• Boy2 : Oh! I know her
• 
  
• Boy1 : How?
• 
  
• Boy2 : We were caught sleeping together
• 
  
• Boy1 : What the hell?
• 
  
• Boy2 : During lecture in maths class
• 
  
• Think +ve
• 
  
• ============================
• A customer ordered a cup of coffee in a restaurant! The waiter served the coffee. The customer found a fly in the coffee. He called the waiter.
• 
  
• Customer: How do I drink this coffee!
• 
  
• Waiter: Don’t you know how to drink a coffee?
• 
  
• Customer: Waiter, see, there is a fly in my coffee.
• 
  
• Waiter: Oh yes sir, you are right! There is a fly in your coffee.
• 
  
• Customer: Waiter, I said, there is a fly in MMY coffee (He stressed the word MY)
• 
  
• Waiter: Oh don’t worry sir, the fly won’t drink much!
• 
  
• Customer: Waiter, it is swimming in my coffee.
• 
  
• Waiter: Sir, do you want me to get a lifeguard for the fly sir?
• 
  
• (Annoyed) Customer: the fly dead, it’s irritating!
• 
  
• Waiter: I guess, it doesn’t know how to swim properly.
• 
  
• Customer: How do I drink this coffee?
• 
  
• Waiter: Don’t you know how to drink? I will teach you!
• 
  
• He drank the coffee! And said, this is how you should drink a coffee.
• 
  
• ============================
• Wife: Can u help me in the gardening?
• 
  
• Husband: What do u think I am…a gardener?
• 
  
• Wife: Can u fix the door handle?
• 
  
• Husband: What do you think I am… a Carpenter?
• 
  
• Next day, when husband came from work, he saw everything has been fixed.
• 
  
• Husband: Who did all this ?
• 
  
• Wife: Our neighbour. But he gave me two options…..Either I should give him a burger or a kiss.
• 
  
• Husband: I am sure u must have given him a burger. Wife: What do u think I am…….McDonalds
• ============================
• Husband: You will never succeed in making that dog obey you !
• 
  
• Wife:Nonsense it’s only a matter of patience,
• 
  
• I had a lot of trouble with u at first…….
• 
  
• ============================
• Never underestimate the power of three things;
• 
  
• 1. Wife angry for a reason;
• 
  
• 2. Wife angry without reason
• 
  
• and
• 
  
• 3. Wife about to get angry & looking for a reason.
• 
  
• ============================
• A newly married husband saved his wife’s mobile number on his mobile as- “ My LIFE ”
• –
• –
• After one year of marriage he changed the Number to- “ My WIFE ”
• –
• –
• After 2 years of marriage he changed the number to- “ My HOME ”
• –
• –
• After 5 years of marriage he changed the number to- “ HITLER
• ”
• –
• –
• &
• After 10 years of marriage he changed the number to- “ WRONG NUMBER ”
• 
  
• ============================
• If Girls Is In Love, Her Parents Asks :Who Is That Idiot ?
• .
• If Boyz Is In Love, His Parents Asks ? Idiot Who Is That Girl ?
• .
• MORAL : No Matter Whoever In Love, Boyz Are Always IDIOTS….
• 
  
• ============================
• We Pronounce
• 22 As Twenty Two,
• 33 As Thirty Three,
• 44 As Forty Four,
• 55 As Fifty Five…..
• Then Why Not We Say 11 As Onety One?………..
• .
• .
• .
• .
• .
• .
• .
• .
• .
• .
• Doubt By – Last Bench Association.
• .
• Moral- Real Genius Are Sitting On Last Benches! :p 😀
• ============================
• Just Imagine Life Without Boyz:::
• Roads Silent
• Collages Empty
• Police At Rest
• All Mobile Companies In Loss
• No Sms
• No Gift
• No Alcohol
• No Bikes
• No Crime
• No Couples
• Which Means World Depends On Us;;;;;
• BOYS ROCKS
• 
  
• ============================
• 
  
• Wife: Look At that drunker.
• Husband: Who is he ?
• Wife: 10yrs back he proposed me I rejected him
• Husband: Oh my god, he is still celebrating…!
• 
  
• ============================
• Boyfriend : Please Keep Me In Your Brain, Not In Your Heart..
• .
• Girlfriend : How Funny, Why Not Heart..?
• .
• Boyfriend : Because
• .
• .
• . .
• Your Heart Is Housefull And Brain Is Empty, More Empty Space Means More Comfort. :p ;D
• 
  
• ============================
• When I was Studying My Mom Was calling me..
• .
• .
• .
• But I did not respond.. I was deeply involved in Studies But she Called me again n again..
• .
• .
• I shouted
• Plz Leave me to Study, My exam is near plz I want to Study, I want to Study My Mom Slapped me and
• said Stop Dreaming “Wakeup n Study 😛 😀
• 
  
• ============================
• Diwali Aa Rahi Hai Me Apna Man Kewal Puja, Archna Aarti, Shradha Bhakti
• ,Bhawna Me Hi Lagana Chahta Hu. Aapke Pados Me Koi Rahti Ho To Batana.
• 
  
• Happy Diwali.
• ============================
• Aapke Life Mein Mithaas Ho “Cadbury” Jaise
• Rounak Ho “Asian Paints” Jaise
• Mehak Ho “Axe” Jaise
• Tazgi Ho “Colgate” Jaise
• Aur Tension-free rahe
• “Huggies” Jaise!
• 
  
• “Happy Diwali”
• 
  
• ============================
• Big B-Mere Pas Rocket Hai, SurSuri Hai, Chakri Hai, Murga Bumb Hai, Tumhare Pas Kya Hai?
• Shashi- Mere Pas MAA…chis Hai.
• 
  
• ***** Happy Diwali *****
• 
  
• ============================
• Aane wali diwali mubarak ho..
• .
• .
• Bhagwan kare ye aapki aakhri diwali ho.
• .
• .
• .
• .
• .
• .
• Wife ke bagair
• .
• .
• Ohhoo…. Muskurahat to dekho ladke ki..!
• 
  
• ============================
• Rocket Gift on Diwali,Boy bought gift for his girlfriend..
• 
  
• Gf: what the hell would i do with dis diwali rocket??
• 
  
• Boy: you wanted stars na??
• 
  
• now sit on it and get lost !! .. 😀
• 
  
• ============================
• I Am Maachis And You are Pataka,
• Together We Are and It Will Be Double Dhamaka…!!!
• 
  
• ============================
• BOOM…..BOOM….
• .
• .
• .
• DHOOOM….DHOOM….
• .
• .
• .
• PHATAK..PHATAK
• .
• .
• .
• SARRRRRRRRR
• .
• .
• .
• Dont get confuse yaar 😛
• Main Fb wall pe Diwali Mnna Raha Hu…..
• 
  
• FB ke Deewano ko Happy Diwali
• 
  
• ============================
• 
  
• 
  
• She is HOT
• .
• .
• .
• .
• .
• She is Sizzling
• .
• .
• .
• .
• .
• I mean….Meri PHULJHARI
• TUM LOG KYA SAMAJHEY 😉
• 
  
• Happy Diwali
• 
  
• ============================
• May this Diwali give you……
• Popularity Of Windows
• Features of Linux
• Independence of JAVA
• Ease of Visual Basic
• Power of Unix!
• 
  
• Happy Deepawali!
• 
  
• ============================
• Husband drunk, came to home Wife at door: how dare you…..?
• You promised me that you did not drink without any occasion, then why you drunk today?
• Funny husband: darling, the festival of crackers diwali is coming..!!
• Wife: so what ? What’s new in that..?
• Husband: we need bottles to light rockets dear…… 😛
• 
  
• ============================
• Ishu: How does a married man celebrates a noiseless Diwali..?
• Aman: By going abroad….?
• Ishu: No…..
• By sending his wife to her parents’ place 😛
• **** Happy Diwali ****
• ============================
• Teacher: Who wants to go to heaven.?
• .
• .
• .
• Everybody lift their hand except one small boy.
• .
• .
• Teacher asks him Why…??
• .
• .
• .
• He says: “Mom said come directly home after school ._.
• 
  
• ============================
• Police : Are You married?
• 
  
• Suresh : Yes, with a woman.
• 
  
• Police : Of course! Did you even hear of anyone marrying a man?
• 
  
• Suresh : Yes, my sister did….!!!
• 
  
• ============================
• A Student who got 0% Marks, was surprised
• because his all answers were seemingly correct!
• Do you feel that he was wrongly penalized??
• 
  
• Q.1- In which battle did Tipu Sultan Die ?..
• Ans.- In his Last Battle..
• Q.2- Where was the Declaration of
• Independence Signed?
• Ans.- At the Bottom of the Page..
• Q.3- What is the Main Reason for Divorce ?..
• Ans.- Marriage..
• Q.4- Ganga Flows in which State ?..
• Ans.- Liquid State..
• Q.5- When was Mahatma Gandhi Born ?.
• Ans.- On His Birthday.
• Q.6- How will you Distribute 8 Mangoes among 6 People ?..
• Ans.- By Mango Shake..!!
• Q.7-where do maximum ice fall noticed in India…???..
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• Awesome Reply By Student:- ..”In whiskey Glass.”
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• ============================
• Height of Misunderstanding:
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• Wife not talking to Husband & Thinking that She is giving Punishment to Him…… :p 😀
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• Management student kisses a girl.
• Girl: Whats this?
• Boy: Its called DIRECT MARKETING.
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• (Girl slaps the boy)
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• Boy: What is this?
• Girl: This is CUSTOMER FEED BACK.
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• ============================
• A man received an unknown call..
• Girl : hello do you have a girlfriend??
• Man : no, who are you darling?
• Girl : I Am your girl friend Diana, hate you
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• Again man got a call
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• Girl : do you have a girlfriend??
• Man : yes darling
• Girl : I am Your wife Alice, hate you
• Man : oh sorry honey i didn’t recognize you
• Girl : I am Diana i knew it that you have a wife, Hate you liar…
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• Man : whats…..
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• Teacher :- What Is A Skeleton?
• Student:-Mam, Skeleton Is a Person Who started dieting, but forgot to stop it!!
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• ============================
• An 40 yr old man asked the trainer in the gym, ‘ I want to impress that beautiful girl, which machine should I use?’
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• The trainer replied, ‘ Outside the gym there is an ATM, use that.’
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• ============================
• FUNNY INTERVIEW
• Officer : What Is Your Name ?
• Candidate : M P. Sir
• Officer : Tell Me Properly
• Candidate : Mohan Pal Sir
• Officer : Your Father’s Name ?
• Candidate : M P. Sir
• Officer : What Does That Mean ?
• Candidate : Manmohan Pal Sir
• Officer : Your Native Place
• Candidate : M P. Sir
• Officer : Is It Madhya Pradesh ?
• Candidate : No, Munnur Pal Sir
• Officer : What Is Your Qualification?
• Candidate : M P. Sir
• Officer : (Angrily) What Is It ?
• Candidate : Metric Pass
• Officer : Why Do You Need A Job ?
• Candidate : M P. Sir
• Officer : And What Does That Mean ?
• Candidate : Money Problem Sir
• Officer : Describe Your Personality
• Candidate : M P. Sir
• Officer : Explain Yourself Clearly
• Candidate : Mind-blowing Personality Sir
• Officer : This Discussion Is Nowhere, You
• May Go
• Now
• Candidate : M P. Sir
• Officer : What Is It Now
• Candidate : My Performance….?
• Officer : Mp !!!
• Candidate : What Is That Sir..?
• Officer : Mentally Puncture.. …. :p 😀
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• ============================
• Science Teacher: Oxygen is a must for breathing & for life.
• It was discovered in 1773.
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• Student: Thank God ! I am born after 1773 otherwise,
• I would have died without it.
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• ============================
• Height of flirting of ENGINEERS Students
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• Teacher: Where is Your Assignment book?
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• Student:Mam, I lost it While fighting with students who said that u r not the most beautiful teacher in this college.
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• ============================
• Wife: “I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?”
• Husband: “You have perfect eyesight.
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• ============================
• Wife : I am not talking to you.
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• Husband : Okay.
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• Wife : Don’t you @want to know the reason.
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• Husband : No, I @espect & trust your decision!
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• ============================
• Husband : I found Aladin’s lamp today.
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• Wife : w@ow, what did u ask for darling ??
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• Husband : I asked him to increase your brain ten times..
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• Wife : oh..darling..luv u so much..
• .
• Did he do that ??
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• Husband :@ He laughed and said multiplication doesn’t apply on zero!!! 😀
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• ============================
• E-Mail This
• FACE@BOOK FEVER –
• A Guy Updates His Status –
• ‘ I’m Gonna Sleep On Terrace Tonight ‘
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• 7O Mosquitoes ‘Liked’ His Status….. 😀
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• ============================
• Marriage Tip:
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• If Wife Wants To Get Husband-s Attention,
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• Just Look Sad & Uncomfortable.
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• If Husband@ Wants To Get Wife-s Attention,
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• Just Look Comfortable & Happy…
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•